In Search of Matt's Scalp

It has been an interesting day to say the least. In Scottsdale, the Phoenix Open golf tournament is being held and several of us from work decided to go. The tournament doesn't actually start until Thursday but today was the celebrity Skins game. Playing were former Toronto Blue Jays infielder and Phoenix Suns basketball coach Danny Ainge, legendary rocker Alice Cooper, and the Diamondbacks Randy Johnson and Matt Williams. With three baseball players and a guy that tears heads off of chickens, how could I resist going. Besides, this would be the perfect opportunity to try and get a picture of Matt Williams without his hat. Matt is about the only Diamondback player who would need no touch up to transform into a Chia head. I'm figuring it would save me countless hours of airbrushing if I could just get him to take his hat off. My friend Mike Lee brought a digital camera and we followed the golfers all around the course. When Matt made a fantastic shot or when he choked a shot, I did my best to get the crowd to react so that Matt would remove his hat. He did twice during the tournament. The first time, we were standing behind some old lady with a beehive hair-do blocking our view. By the time we pushed the lady out of the way, it was to late. The second time, we had been filming Matt's every move. The minute we stop to check the battery life, bam! he takes his hat off. I yell to Mike to roll but by the time we got the camera in position, the hat was back in place. At the eighteenth green, we waited patiently as the golfers ended their rounds and began to walk by. Matt was very gracious and stopped to sign autographs for many of the fans who were there. He posed to have pictures taken with everyone who asked. Mike and I made our way to the front of the crowd and Matt stopped right next to us signing a ball for a small child. I politely asked if we could take his picture and he obliged. I asked if he would remove his hat. He answered, "Sorry, I only take it off for private parties." Bummer, a whole day and an entire 8 MM tape later, I have a lot of pictures of Matt Williams in a black golf hat and a real good close-up picture of an old lady with a beehive hair-do being shoved out of the way by eager paparazzi. My quest continues.