It’s Here! It’s Here!

Ah, I have survived another off-season. Given this accomplishment, I crawl out of bed and quickly dress in my best Diamondbacks gear and head out the door for work. I still do not understand why we are required to work on such a momentous day. After all, the beginning of Spring Training is much more important than some of these other so-called national holiday. I mean come on, don’t you think that celebrating the beginning of our national pastime is of greater significance than celebrating women giving birth? Exactly how is any warm-blooded American sports fan supposed to get into Labor Day while ignoring something as monumental as grown men throwing a baseball back and forth after a six month hiatus? These are the kind of thoughts that separate the human mind from that of the common ape. I am eternally grateful that somewhere in past generations that my ancestors decided that opposable thumbs would be much more useful than a sixth toe and evolved appropriately. As I arrived at work, I greeted everyone I came in contact with and wished them a Happy Spring Training Reporting Day. Those individuals who were knowledgable enought to recognize this date as the holiday that it is, thanked me and reciprocated. Those a little lower on the mental food chain simply looked blankly into space no doubt wondering why those pictures of Uncle Larry in their family album looked remarkably close to the sketches of the missing link Darwin kept referring to. I could hardly wait to get home tonight to see what kind of celebration Trina had planned. I was counting on having our traditional Spring Training Reporting Day feast of hot dogs and peanuts. Imagine my surprise when we had chicken? I gave Trina my best Ward Cleaver look as I had to remind her what today was. Forgetting a day like this, boy she must feel so foolish. I mean I could have seen her forgetting something trivial like our Anniversary after all, I forget that nearly every year but this is important. Looks like her priorities aren’t quite set correctly yet.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *