Let’s Get Ready to Rumble

I’ve seen Mike Tyson fight, I’ve watched the WWF Monday Nitro, I have even seen the Ultimate Fighting Championship on Pay-per-view but nothing could have prepared me for the events of today. New Year’s Day, Trina and I had purchased a bunk bed for the kids. We had expected delivery later that week. As of today, we were still awaiting delivery. This shopping experience has been a nightmare as the company either delivered garbage to us or missed delivery dates. Well, we had finally had it and Trina went to demand a refund. The salesperson at Beds Direct who was also the owner gave Trina every excuse imaginable for why her company was not at fault and stressed at the top of her lungs that there were no refunds. Trina was tenacious not backing down meeting this Amazon woman decibel for decibel. Customers who were unfortunate enough to wander into the store were treated to quite a sight. Two women standing toe-to-toe, yelling at each other at the top of their lungs. Now Trina was mismatched giving away probably a good 65 pounds to her opponent. To the untrained eye, this fight looked to be very lopsided. But there was information I knew about Trina that would tip the scales in her favor. First, she was married to me. Anyone who could survive 19 years of me on a daily basis could definitely take this Shamu in pantyhose. Second, there was the incident with Bone Crusher my Basset Hound. He ran off one time and would not return when Trina called him. This infuriated Trina to no end and when she finally caught him, she had him neutered. Third, I once took a self-defense class with Trina and I watched her drop a 6 foot 3 inch 245 pound black-belt to the ground and come inches away from shoving his nose into his brain cavity. This babe obviously had no idea what she was dealing with. During the foray going on in the showroom, Mamma Cass raised her arm like she was going to strike my wife. Trina glared at her with her steely dark eyes and calmly said, “Touch me and I will drop you like a rock.” The Walrus immediately backed down and cheerfully refunded our money. It was probably the wisest decision she would ever make. As we traveled home, I looked at Trina and said, “My car is leaking oil. Could you take it in and do what you just did at the dealership? If they ask, I would like the Red Corvette for my trouble.”

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