Shopping Couch Potato

After my comments yesterday about alternative seating arrangements, I should have known what was coming next. I was to busy comtemplating Spring Training starting in two weeks to think about coming up with a good story today. So when Trina suggested we go look at furniture, I was left staring like a deer in headlights. I knew I was in danger and I should run, but I was fascinated by the bright lights bearing down upon me. So, without a good excuse, I was drug to the car and forced to wander aimlessly down aisles of couches, love seats, and chairs. Forced to endure the torture of examining fabric swatches. I was asked my opinion (I have no idea why since it was completely ignored) of various types of styles and fabrics. I was bored out of my mind but had to act interested. Our final stop in this death march was the Lazy Boy store. You would think with a name like that they would cater to guys but that was not the case. I wandered around the store looking at simulated living rooms. It was obvious that none of these rooms were designed by men since there was no television, everything was color coordinated, and it was way to clean. Then I saw it. In the distance was the Nirvana of male furniture. A leather recliner with a cooler in one arm, a massage control in the other. It had a place for numerous television remotes and was even equipped with a telephone with Caller ID. I dove for the chair and tested all of its amenities. As Trina wandered the store I sat in a chair second only to Captain’s Kirks in importance. I took the salesman aside and asked the most important question, “Can I get it in two tone leather? I want the sides in purple and the front and back in teal green.” I took off my Diamondbacks hat to match the leather colors exactly. I know that Trina has her heart set on a couch, but I think three of these chairs stacked side-by-side would be about the same size. Surely she would see the genius of this plan.

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