March 15, 2000
Ever since we first got Dog Dot Com, my life has been anything but normal. It started with Dot Com deciding that everyone’s biological clock should be on the same time zone as hers. This meant we were expected to go to bed at 7:30 PM and get up at 4:15 AM. When the family would not comply with this schedule, she made sure we all heard about it whining and howling until someone got up with her. After that, it has been the potty training that goes along with having a puppy. It didn’t matter where I stepped, she had planted little puppy bombs in the exact place where my bare feet would find them. She has the tendency to lead you to believe she is learning to go outside. Just as you are lulled into thinking you are over the worst part, she reminds you she is still a puppy and can go potty wherever she wants. Now this week, we have moved into the next area, the chewing phase. There is nothing safe that her little puppy teeth have not tasted. Whether it be my ear, shoes, socks, Dakota; it is all fair game. The one area she had not touched was the computer, until now. I have been working on networking the computers in the house to share Internet access and files between Mallorie and I and temporarily laid Category 5 Ethernet between the computers to test. While I was configuring IP addresses, Dottie decided it was time she went digital. As I came down the stairs, there she laid, the remnants of a network between her teeth. It was apparent that Dog Dot Com was under the belief that all networks should be wireless. I quietly yanked the wires from her mouth, the twisted pairs flossing her puppy teeth as she struggled to hold on. It would not have been so bad had the wire she ate not been my link between the computer and the cable modem. I was cut off like Gilligan from the mainland. Unlike Gilligan, I did not have the Professor, that master of the coconut shell to bail me out. It took a couple of days before I was back up and on-line. In the mean time, Dog Dot Com has gotten the taste of the Internet. She may never go back to being a mere analog dog.