Can You Sign Here Please?

Being back at work today, I had to recount how I missed another Diamondbacks game. My co-workers seem to find joy in my misery going so far as to place bets on whether I will be able to catch a game before spring training is over. By the end of the work day, I am relatively depressed and ready for the weekend to begin. I dragged my tired body into the house and plopped myself into my new Bank One Ballpark seat. As I sat there, my thoughts turned to baseball and the fun I have had watching the Diamondbacks over the past two years. In the midst of my daydreams, I was startled by the doorbell. "Oh great" I thought "I'll bet it's an opportunity to buy another 17 boxes of girl scout cookies." As I opened the door, I was greeted by a smiling postal worker. I was taken aback by this sight. I did not realize there was such a creature. I always envisioned postmen as only having smiles on their faces while they were cleaning their firearms. "Will you sign here please?" the postal worker asked. I absently autographed his ledger "To the best Diamondbacks fan." He looked rather confused and asked if I would just put my name down. I apologized and signed again. This time, he handed me an envelope, thanked me, and went on his way. As I shut the door, I began to look at the package. The return address was one I was well familiar with. It was the Arizona Diamondbacks. I eagerly tore open the package and inside found a most precious prize. It was my 2000 season tickets. I reverently admired the tickets looking at each one, counting them and envisioning tearing them out of the booklet to attend the game. It was almost enough to bring tears to a man's eyes. When I finally got over my sensitive moment, I began to do my best impression from Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I danced around the living room singing, "I've got a golden ticket!" As Trina and the kids came into the living room to see what was going on, in unison they made one comment "Looks like your dad got the tickets today. There will be no living with him for the next three weeks."