It’s Not Easy Being Green

Today being St. Patricks Day, I decided it would be the perfect day to go to a ballgame. (As far as I am concerned, every day is the perfect day but if I have a holiday fall in there, it is easier to justify going.) This is the third year in a row that I am going to a Diamondbacks game on March 17. Today’s game is in Tucson at Hi Corbett Field against the Colorado Rockies. Since the kids are all out for Spring Break, the whole family is going to Tucson. Now this is the third attempt to go to Tucson, the other two being unsuccessful I was taking no chances. The game started at 1:05 PM so we left the house at 9:30 AM just so we could make it. Traffic was pretty bad and I resorted to weaving in and out of lanes to make good time. It seemed everything was going to plan. We reached Tucson at 11:00 AM and would be at Hi Corbett in time to watch batting practice, or so I thought. When I got into Tucson, I attempted to cut through downtown. I was one street away from pulling it off, then it happened. The police came and closed down the street in front and behind me essentially trapping me. I frantically tried to find out what was going on and was told that the St. Patricks Day parade was about to start and the street was now closed. I attempted to tell the officer I was on my way to a game but he didn’t seem to care. I was determined that this time would be different, I would not be denied going to the game. I drove down the entire parade route Barbie-waving to the confused crowd waiting for the parade. I could hear them asking, “Who is the guy in the Diamondbacks hat and jersey and why is he waving at us?” When I reached the end of the parade route, I made a dash for the exit and drove like a maniac to the ball field. I wasn’t sure whether the police would appreciate my stunt but I wasn’t about to stand around and wait for the reviews. I quickly parked the car and made my way to the stadium. At last, I was at a Diamondbacks game. I felt so grateful I knelt down to the ground and kissed the ground. Those standing around me stared, one old lady turned to her husband and exclaimed, “Lookie there John, that one’s drunk on green beer before he even got in the gates.” Almost as an after thought, the Diamondbacks won the game 6-3.

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