M*A*S*H

It is amazing how the Arizona Diamondbacks have come to resemble a M*A*S*H unit. Each day it seems there is another player or coach that becomes hurt or unable to play. It began with Matt Williams going on the disabled list with a sore quadriceps muscle. That was followed by first base coach Dwayne Murphy having his knee operated on. This was followed by Todd Stottlemyre re-injuring his right elbow. Pitching coach Mark Conner went next being treated for a kidney stone. This was followed by Erubiel Durazo going on the disabled list for his ailing wrist. As if the players and coaches weren’t enough, I go to the game and watch as some fan catches a foul ball off the bat of Jay Bell right in the face and have to be carted out on a stretcher. I have come to the conclusion that maybe we should change the Diamondbacks uniforms to Army fatigues. But there is always a bright side to trials such as this. As television has shown, there is humor even in war. I began to think that maybe the Diamondbacks are in ways similar to the old 1970’s sit-com. We have Buck who is much like Colonel Potter. A kindly commander who has a few quirks of his own. Rather than painting and riding horses, Buck carries a clipboard and rides players. We have a little guy just like Radar who anticipates what his commander needs. Buck’s right hand man is Carlos Tosca the bench coach. He is the one that keeps things going. Hawkeye and BJ would be played by Matt Williams and Jay Bell. They are the old guard who are responsible for maintaining sanity in the camp. Brian Anderson would be Klinger just because he is the only one crazy enough to wear a dress onto the field. Of course we would need to set our cast of characters in an authentic setting so we would include Kim to show everyone that our show is set in Korea. Yeah, this just may work.


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