July 3, 2000
A lot has been made of that Survivor show that is playing on CBS. Everyone is glued to their television each Wednesday night as they try to determine who will be kicked off a deserted island in Borneo. Personally, I have not seen the show. I have watched the JumboTron during every game and it has not been on. My theory is that if it is newsworthy, they will show it on the JumboTron. As I listen to the premise of the show, I am less than impressed. There are two teams of 16 people who are stuck on this island to survive. Each week, the two teams have some type of challenge, the team that loses must vote off one of the team members. I’m thinking to myself, how hard can this really be? You are in the tropics and have food and water at your disposal. If they want a real challenge, try attending a 14 game home stand at Bank One Ballpark over the course of 15 days. Add to that the requirements to balance a job and a family and you have the making of a real survivor show. This past home series consisted of a three game set with San Diego followed by a day off then three against the Colorado Rockies. This was immediately followed by four games with the Houston Astros and finally four with the Cincinnati Reds. Mixed with the games were 8 gymnastics lessons, 10 swimming lessons, 3 trips to the library, 4 visiting team specials, Disco night, 5 promotional nights, 17 autographs, an autograph party, 1 child’s birthday with a party, 7 cheese steak sandwiches, 5 visiting team specials, 6 Italian sausages with sauerkraut, 150 Diamondbacker Frequent Fang program points, and 14 entries into the designated driver of the game. This coupled with a wife that has tired of baseball and cannot understand why the season has to be 162 games. So the next time somebody starts admiring these yahoos who are spending a couple of weeks on a tropical island they should be taken out and smacked around with a Louisville Slugger.