July 30, 2000
With the Diamondbacks completing this current road trip in Florida and having an early game, I find myself with a rare free evening at home. What better way to spend a Sunday evening than watching ESPN Sunday Night Baseball. So armed with a bowl of popcorn and a frosty mug of A&W Root Beer, I headed for the family room. As I turned the corner to head for my trusty recliner and the television remote control, I was met by five women in the room. What I saw next would bring terror to the eyes of most male sports fans. The girls had confiscated the room and the remote control and were not going to relinquish it. In fact, they even took my bowl of popcorn! If I were going to stay in this room, I would be watching what they were watching. There on my big screen television were the Olympic Trials for gymnastics. I desperately tried to explain how important baseball is, even if the game was an American League game and I would have to put up with the designated hitter. My arguments fell on deaf ears as the girls were more interested in whether small Oompa-Loompa’s wearing leotards would “stick” their landing. If I were going to watch baseball, it would have to be upstairs. Rather than watch one more floor exercise, I sprinted up the stairs before I missed another half inning. When I got to the bedroom, I was met there by Dakota who was partially through the latest adventures of Pokemon. He too was not about to relinquish the television without a fight. Dejected, I trudged downstairs where I sat in a darkened living room staring out the windows. Across the street through the neighbor’s window, I could barely make out what looked like ESPN. I wonder what the police would say if they saw me staring through the neighbor’s window with binoculars? I’m guessing they would not believe me if I told them I was watching their television. I’m thinking it would be prudent to instead listen to the game over the Internet and keep my dignity intact.