This is Baseball, Eh?

My mother always taught me to be a good host and to make your guests feel comfortable. She went as far as saying that your guests should feel as if they were at home. I have try to mind my mother's advice throughout my life. For the first few years, I minded out of fear. Mom is not a large lady but she could wield a paddle with the best of them. As I became older, this behavior became more comfortable. So for 38 years I have tried to make others feel at home when they visit, but I think I have found a boundary to mom's generosity. The Montreal Expos have come to town and have a three game series with the Diamondbacks. I realize that the fans of Montreal are used to having only 1,000 of their closest friends attend a ballgame but I'm afraid we can't be that hospitable. I had a couple of people from Canada make a comment to me last night that there were more people at the game for batting practice than during the game in Montreal. The fans of Montreal are used to having entire sections to themselves and given the number of foul balls that are hit, everyone in the stands could likely go home with a ball. Here, you are lucky if you get a foul ball in a couple of years let alone a single game. Montreal fans are also used to having fellow fans in the stands that speak French. I've been to every game for the past three years and I have to admit I have never heard anyone speak French. About the best I could do would be to have these Canadian fans come to one of the Mets games. The Mets fans didn't speak French, but they were rude so that would be half right. I understand from talking to some of the fans that the Expos do not have a television contract so no games are seen on television. The best I can do here would be to turn off their televisions while they are watching them. Of course with the monsoon storms we are having, chances are they won't have power where they are staying anyway. In the meantime, I will attempt to be a good host and to make our guests feel closer to home, I will try to incorporate some of their lingo into my conversations with the umpires, "Take off! That call sucked you hoser! That was a good one, eh?"