I Can See the Mall From Here

As I get up this morning, I glance over to the Christmas Countdown clock that Trina has put up in order to save her sanity. After having 5 kids ask on a daily basis how many more days until Christmas, she decided it would just be easier to write it on the board. If nothing else, it has saved her from repeating herself 6 times. I had to look at the countdown twice. Surely that cannot be right, there has to be more than 10 days until Christmas. Because if Christmas is that close, that means I have to go shopping and I am not sure I am ready to deal with that. Of course, I verified the days remaining and found that indeed, there was a trip to the mall in my future. I grabbed the checkbook and my Arizona Diamondbacks Team Shop Discount Card and headed for the door. Before I could make it to the garage, I was met by Trina who immediately removed my Team Shop Discount card from my hand. “You won’t be needing this.” she said. I tried to explain that I still had to buy her present but she merely repeated “You won’t be needing this.” Dejected that I was being forced into a realm I was not prepared to experience, I left the house and headed for the mall. When I got within 10 miles of the shopping center, I noticed traffic increase as did foot traffic on the sidewalk. I did not think the two were related but soon found I was mistaken. I drove around the mall for 40 minutes trying to get into the parking lot. Not park the car, just get into the parking lot. After the fourth trip around the block, I began wondering exactly how much trouble I would be in if I shopped somewhere that had a drive-through window. At the last moment, I found an opening to park and perhaps saved my marriage. When I finally found a parking place, I had to hike 20 minutes before I reached the door to the mall. By the time I got inside, I had forgotten what I was even looking for. Lucky for me the team shop was just inside to remind me why I came here. Diamondbacks polo shirts are 20% off today. I’ll bet Trina will love this. Maybe I’ll get her two, one black and one blue to match the bruises I will most likely get when she opens these.

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