Praying to the Baseball Gods

I consider myself to be a religious man. Each spring I thank God that Spring Training has finally arrived after a long off-season where I have had to put up with football and basketball. For opening day each year I sacrifice a virgin scorebook as I keep score for each home game. By the all-star break each July I am cursing the umpires knowing full well that many of them are probably indeed direct descendants to Satan himself. By fall I am calling once again upon the Lord to direct the Diamondbacks into one last play-off run. As the season ends, I take the opportunity to thank God for the bountiful season we have just received. That in a nutshell could describe pretty much every baseball fans religious experiences. I do not profess to be a bible scholar by any means. I somehow get lost somewhere in the book of Exodus around the time that people begin begetting. I have a hard enough time trying to remember my own kids names without trying to figure out who all these other people's kids are. I have though come to a profound understanding of many of the principles of the bible. For example, when they talk about the falling of the church after the death of the 12 apostles. I fully understand that concept. The same thing happens in baseball. Once the designated hitter was introduced into the game, the pureness, the truth of the game has disappeared. The baseball prophets have ceased to do miracles. Baseball fans like those who proclaim themselves as born again Christians are both waiting for the same thing, the second coming of Christ. We just may be waiting for this event for different reasons. Oh sure, I think it would be great to hear the teachings of Christ, but more importantly, I think he is probably the only one who has enough power to have Major League Baseball eliminate the designated hitter rule and have all 30 teams play on real grass fields.