Let the Arbitration Begin

Today marks the beginning of the most bizarre season in baseball, salary arbitration. I would venture to say that salary arbitration is probably the most misunderstood aspect of the game. I hesitate to even say that since arbitration is really not part of the game. It is one of those pieces of a labor agreement that is probably decided upon at the last minute before ratification that no one seems to think through before it was implemented. I wondered though, is it possible that salary arbitration might work in other aspects of life? I decided that the only way to decide this was to put it to the test.

This morning before I left for work and before the kids went on their way to school, I filed with Trina my figures for what they would each be paid as an allowance this season. I asked each of them to do the same not telling me what their figures were. When I got home, Trina called me into her office (kitchen) along with each child. There, we each pleaded our case as to why our numbers should be accepted.

“You see Mrs. Arbitrator, Ashley has taken it upon herself to ignore curfew on numerous occasions. She has stayed out well beyond what had been agreed upon. Further, when she is home she insists on sleeping in while the rest of us work. She continually shuffles off responsibility to her other siblings but still expects to be rewarded. Of course she is still a valuable member of the family team, I just don’t feel she should be paid as much as she is asking.”

“Mom, I mean Mrs. Arbitrator, this isn’t fair. Dad, I mean the owners are expecting to much from me. First they praise me for the hard work I do then they try not to pay me for it. How fair is that? I’m under contract. I may as well be a slave! It’s not fair!”

After careful deliberation, the arbitrator sides each time with management, giving me a sweep 5-0 in arbitration cases. Hey, maybe this isn’t such a bad deal after all. All I really need to worry about is the ending of the collective bargaining agreement since all of the players are already talking about a work stoppage.

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