Things Not to Take to Church

Raising a son is much different than raising daughters. I am always amazed at what a difference there is. Today was another prime example. Each Sunday, we get the kids ready for church and attend services. I believe it is important that kids are taught to be bored while acting attentive so in this sense church acts as a great teaching tool. As a leader, Trina usually has several additional meetings that she must attend. Some of these occur before church and on those days, I am responsible for getting the children ready to go.


It is not so bad with the older kids because they are fairly self-sufficient. Dakota though still requires help. I therefore usually stick him in the bath tub before I get ready and let the dirt try to soak off of the boy before getting out the Brillo pads to peel the remaining layers of dirt off. This is usually met with a tremendous amount screaming and crying before he gets out. Today, we were running behind so I suggested that while I finished getting ready, he put a few things in a bag to keep himself occupied while we are at church. This was my first mistake, I should have checked to see what he was putting in the bag. Instead, we were in a hurry and he was allowed to pack unsupervised. When we arrived at church, Dakota positioned himself on the bench on the opposite end from his mother. I should have taken that as a bad sign but I was preoccupied with acting interested in the speaker and therefore ignored Dakota. Soon though, I began to notice that there were several people around us all turning to look in our direction. I still did not think much about this since I did not feel it would be appropriate to tell people to quit staring in church. This behavior continued until finally I turned to see what it was they were all looking at. There, at the end of the bench, Dakota was standing on the seat so that he could see the speaker better. In his hands were binoculars up to his eyes. The speaker was doing everything in his power to maintain his composure. I quickly made my way down to Dakota and removed the binoculars from around his neck. He immediately protested, “But dad, I can’t see that guy without those!” I have a feeling Trina is not going to find humor in this situation.


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