XFL and Other White Trash

Well, tonight was opening night for the new XFL season. For those of you unaware, the XFL is a partnership between NBC and the WWF. I was not quite sure what to expect but since I am playing in an XFL Fantasy League, I felt it was my duty as an owner to at least support my players and watch a game. Granted, I am not much of a football fan and that is a good thing since what I was watching did not seem to resemble anything like football. Instead, I was greeted by the color commentary of Jesse “The Body” Ventura who happens to also be the governor or Minnesota. Now as near as I can tell, running Minnesota must be just a part time job if you can take off each week to hang out at a football game. I have to admit, the various camera angles was interesting and kept me watching for at least a couple of minutes. I grabbed my roster to check and see which of these players were on my team. As a tackle was made or a running back went for a big gain, I would look at the names on the back of their jerseys and compare it against my list. About the third play though, I couldn’t find any of these guys. Then I realized that the players were not required to put their own names on the back of their shirts. This became evident when a defensive player crawled out from under the pile and the back of his jersey had the words “She Hates” written on it. I am not sure what that means but I for one would get out of the way if I saw “She Hates” coming towards me. He was able to put a bone shattering hit on “The Truth” which “The Body” replayed over and over so that we got the full effect of the collision. Between these psychotic players and the scantly clad cheerleaders who go into the stands during the game to dance with the fans I wondered whether I was watching football or Cinemax After Dark. Yeah, I can see where this sport is going to rank right up there with Monday Night Nitro and NASCAR. I am beginning to think I do not fit into the demographic that this league is catering to. Perhaps they should move these games to The Nashville Channel right after the Dukes of Hazzard re-runs.

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