Return of the Wizard

Around the second Tuesday in January, baseball again seems to rise to the top of the national sports consciousness. This is of course the day that the Baseball Hall of Fame announces their newest elected members. This of course is also the time I make my annual case for why all-around nice guy and two-time Most Valuable Player Dale Murphy should be elected. This is usually followed by my annual tirade directed towards the Baseball Writers of Association of America for ignoring character when voting for the Hall of Fame inductees and instead determining who should go in based upon whether they were a good guy to interview, or some made up statistic or other subject criteria such as whether a player was the “best at their position”.

This year was no exception. Dale Murphy again did not make it into the Hall of Fame falling well short of the necessary votes. In an interesting twist, the baseball writers must have all been hanging out at the circus when they made their votes this year. How else can you explain them only voting in one person from this year’s class and that person being not so much being a great baseball player as he is an acrobat? I will have to check my data for sure, but I think Ozzie Smith is the first back-flipping shortstop who has been elected to the baseball Hall of Fame. If this is the beginning of a trend, I believe we will see Bobo the Clown and the Great Walendas elected into the hall in the coming years. I can just see the induction ceremonies now. A small little car pulls up and forty-seven clowns pile out and run up to the podium. There one clown hits Bud Selig in the face with a banana creme pie and another clown honks a horn then plasters the commissioner with a seltzer bottle. This will be awesome. Of course it will later be revealed that a clown bet on the outcome of the vote and armed with a bottle of cold cream, the clown’s make-up will be removed to show that it was none other than Pete Rose. As they handcuff him and lead him to the police car, he will mutter “I would have gotten away with it to if it hadn’t been for those meddling kids and their dog!” All that was lacking from today’s announcement was a bear in a tutu and some Calliope music.

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