Lucky Jersey Lanyard

Last night was the opening game of the home series with the Florida Marlins. Usually Friday games are a challenge for us as the kids all seem to have something going on that requires a parent act as a taxi service. I usually don’t notice that since I am at the game and Trina becomes the designated taxi parent. I kind of think it works out well but then I am not home to hear about it so what I don’t know usually doesn’t hurt me until I get back from the game. Tonight was no exception. Mallorie was working I think. Tiffany was teaching rock wall climbing. Whitney wanted to spend time at a friend’s house. Dakota should would have been the logical one to go to the game with me but he has been to the last several games and planned to go with my on Sunday so he was getting a little burned out. So it was looking like I might be going to the game solo which doesn’t happen very often. Then at the last moment, Mallorie’s plans changed allowing Trina to go to the game. That usually means that I am going to either listen to her recount what a hassle it is when I am at the game and she is dealing with the kids or I’ll hear about how she just doesn’t understand how I can spend so much time at the ballgame. If she would just stop and think about those two topics, the answer would be crystal clear. When we got to the stadium we made our way to Gate A. I was welcomed as I always am by security (hey they stop everyone not just me) and by the ticket takers. As I slid my ticket into the turnstile I was greeted by a smile and a promotional item. That’s odd, tonight was not a scheduled promotion (by the way I have them all marked and memorized since I never know when someone is going to ask about the give away).


Tonight was an unannounced promotion where the Diamondbacks gave a purple lanyard and ticket pouch to hold game tickets. Inside the pouch was a card that said, “You could be a winner!” I’ve heard that before. I’m still kind of ticked at Ed McMahon about that. I baked a cake and waited weeks for him and Dick Clark to stop by with one of those giant checks and they never showed up. I ended up with a cake, candle stubs, and a layer of wax. No, I wasn’t buying into this again. I started to recount the whole Publisher’s Clearinghouse fiasco when Trina stopped me apologizing to the poor guy at the turnstile. Instead we went over to the team shop as instructed to find out if we won or not. It wasn’t much of a surprise as it seems everyone got some kind of prize. In our case the lucky jersey was Luis Gonzalez’ number 20 meaning we received a coupon for 25 percent off an item at the team shop. “Wow, that’s not too bad”, I thought to myself. I immediately went over to where the jerseys were hanging.

“Don’t you already have several Diamondbacks jerseys hanging in your closet?” Trina asked.

“Trina, I have not gotten a new jersey this century” I explained. It always sounds so much longer if you bring up that you haven’t done something since last century so I was feeling pretty good with that analogy.

“That’s only six years ago” she reminded me.

“Yeah but now I have a coupon and I know how much you like coupons” I was stretching it here but there was a jersey on the line. “And besides, the special of the home stand is free personalization so I am like doing a double coupon thing.” I figured that if cutting coupons was good then double coupon is like gold. It’s like when you dare someone. If you inflict the double dare then you can’t take it back. The only thing that I didn’t invoke was the “double dog coupon”. I had to keep one bullet in case she had a comeback.

“Well double coupon is good and you have been pretty good lately so I guess we can get the jersey if it would make you happy.” She said. If it would make me happy? What kind of comment is that? Of course a new jersey with my name and number would make me happy. Getting her a silk night gown with little Diamondbacks logos would make me too but I figured I better not press my luck. Instead I just reminded her how wise and generous she is and that this jersey would help me to dress more like someone from the twenty-first century instead of someone stuck in the past. I think she kind of zoned me out at that point but it didn’t matter. I’m now the proud owner of an authentic white home jersey for the Arizona Diamondbacks with my name and the number 9 emblazoned upon the back. Wow, that really was a lucky jersey in that promotion. Who knows, maybe Ed McMahon and Dick Clark will be sitting in row 13 of section 108 tonight and we can get to the bottom of that lost prize patrol.


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