More Letters From Home

I have very few rules to determine whether I am having a good day or a bad day. The ones I do have though are kind of important. If I wake up in the morning and I am on the couch downstairs and not sleeping in the bed after I made one of my comments to Trina that’s a bad day. If at the end of a day I have not been called by my boss or the kid’s principal, that’s probably a good day. If I can make it through the evening news without hearing the words “global”, “thermal”, “nuclear”, and “war” that is probably a good day. If I hear the words “Barry”, “Bonds”, “traded”, and “Diamondbacks” in the same sentence that is probably a bad day. As you can tell, my grading system is relatively simple and straight forward. Today I added a new rule on the good/bad grading scale. If I get an envelope that has Sedona Red or an “A” logo or a “D” logo somewhere on it, that is indeed a good day. Using this scale, this has been a really good day. I came home from work and walked down to the mail box. Opening the mail door I immediately saw the Sedona Red envelope flap shining as bright as the noonday sun. I retrieved the letter being careful to leave the other mail intact there in the box. (I didn’t want to take any chances that one of these other letters may contaminate my good/bad scale so the safest thing would be to leave the other mail in the box until tomorrow.)

I rushed back to the house with my new found treasure. I waved the envelope in the air with all the enthusiasm of one of the children from the Willie Wonka movie who had just found a golden ticket. I quickly opened the letter to see what new and exciting information the Arizona Diamondbacks would be providing. Today’s guest pen pal was Charlene T. Vasquez-Inzunza who is the Senior Director of Season Ticket Services/Ballpark Attractions. I looked over the letter absorbing every word and letter on the paper. Ms. Vasquez-Inzunza began by thanking me for being a season ticket holder which I thought was extremely nice of her. She went on to say that because I had chosen to pay for my tickets in full, I would be receiving a certificate next month for an authentic Arizona Diamondbacks jersey. What a cool deal! Now I no longer will have to hide my head in shame wearing purple and turquoise. I could instead proudly wear the new team colors. Sedona Red is beginning to grow on me and I can hardly wait to get my hands on an authentic jersey. The problem is which one to choose. Trina had already promised me a home white leaving the road gray, alternate black, and alternate Sedona Red. This is going to be a much harder decision than I had anticipated. What a cruel exercise. The team may as well asked me to please choose my favorite child. No, that would have been easier to do than choose my favorite jersey. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings by selecting one over any of the others. Instead of slighting two of the jerseys, I made a decision. Calling upon the “best interests of baseball” clause I decided that I will just have to purchase 2 of the jerseys when I select the one from the Diamondbacks then I will have one of each eliminating any jersey sibling rivalry that could occur. Anticipating that Trina may have an issue with this decision, I came up with a great communication plan to break the news to her. I bought the other two jerseys to benefit her. Having four jerseys instead of two means she will have to do laundry half as much as should would otherwise. That could amount to a lot of time I just saved her not to mention the costs associated with the water, soap, and electricity I would be saving. If you think about it, these jerseys really pay for themselves just in time and materials saved. She’ll buy that argument won’t she?

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