What Am I Missing?

I could not help but pace back and forth across the room. I had a lot of nervous energy and I was not exactly sure why. I found myself restless and not able to concentrate today. I walked back and forth in front of the shrine looking longingly at my baseball glove and the basket of balls that Dakota had collected last season. I reached down grabbed a ball and my mitt. Absent-mindedly I began tossing the ball into the air and catching it. I’m not sure why but I just felt like I was missing something and I could not put my finger on it. I was at first worried that I had forgotten something important like Trina’s birthday, our anniversary, or something like that. I checked the calendar to make sure I was not able to head down that path that every husband dreads where you space off some spectacular event that is important to your wife which inevitably leads to either a quick trip to pick up a card and gift certificate to the craft store or if you really messed up, a call to the emergency jewelry store when you were in real trouble. But the calendar was no help, I hadn’t made a note to myself about any Sedona Red letter days that would mean anything to Trina, then it hit me.

Yesterday was the beginning of Fantasy Camp for the Arizona Diamondbacks. I am pretty depressed at not being there. I really had my hopes up that I would be able to attend the second annual camp. I missed the first one when I had to go in for shoulder surgery a year ago so at least I had a good excuse for not being there. But this year I had nothing. I started thinking about life and marriage and in particular my marriage. Why is it that if I happen to forget an event or holiday that has special meaning to Trina such as our wedding anniversary, mother’s day, or her birthday that I end up in the dog house and have to frantically come up with a special gift but if she misses an important holiday like the Opening Day, the anniversary of my first pitch, or the beginning of Diamondbacks Fantasy Camp there is no reciprocal urgency on her part to make it right. I am beginning to think there is a double standard in our marriage. I’m beginning to think that she doesn’t believe these events are important. Trina has had a lot on her mind lately so maybe she just forgot and if that is the case maybe she will feel guilty and I’ll get a new authentic alternate black Diamondbacks jersey with the red “A” on the front. I tried to remember how Trina subtly reminds me when I forget an event. I went to her and in my sweetest tone of voice said, “Honey do you remember what today is?” I had fully expected that she would suddenly realize her oversight and we would be headed to the team shop at Chase Field. “Sure, today is Martin Luther King day and they are having a wonderful sale at Recollections scrapbooking store. You did remember that you promised we could go there to get supplies so that I could finish the photo scrapbook for the kids didn’t you?” My plans were dashed in a heartbeat and defeat was snatched from the jaws of victory. I’m obviously not equipped to play at this level. I feel like a rookie going to bat against Randy Johnson/Roger Clemens/Nolan Ryan. Sure I can occupy the batter’s box but my chances of success are slim and none.

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