It’s Ground Hog Day

Groundhog Day is an interesting tradition. I’ve never quite understood where we got the notion that a furry rodent was capable of climate prognostication. I consider myself to have a fairly vivid imagination but even I could not come up with a story believable enough to get people to buy into a chubby hibernating woodchuck telling them when winter is over. But here we are celebrating a holiday with just such a premise. You just gotta love this country. Growing up in Idaho I looked forward to Groundhog Day and prayed that the little rascal would not see his shadow and spring would be here. In Idaho winter seems to last an eternity. I once attended an Independence Day parade where it snowed so warm weather and seeing grass was something that was high on my importance list. Since moving to Arizona, Groundhog Day has become less important in my life. Normally the difference between winter and spring is about 9 degrees in temperature. The concept of Groundhog Day was still intriguing and I wondered what would happen if we happened to change the event to predict baseball instead of weather.

Nestled in the quaint little town of Cooperstown in upstate New York is the home to Blind-eye Bud. Blind-eye Bud is a weasel looking rodent varmint who comes out of hibernation each year in late January or early February and looks for his shadow. If Bud sees his shadow it will mean another 4 years where the Arizona Diamondbacks will not become host to the midsummer classic. If Blind-eye Bud does not see his shadow it will mean that he will continue to turn one eye towards the good of the game while the other eye will remain blind to the troubles facing baseball. The blind eye will ignore the plight of the small market teams allowing pompous animals such as George the Walrus and the Red Hawk Nation to continue to feed off of others in the food chain until the fans will finally revolt and begin following other minor sports such as football. Like the groundhog, Blind-eye Bud also has an inner circle that he talks to and makes his predictions. Bud speaks to the 30 members of the inner circle at regular intervals that they have code named “owners meetings”. During these “meetings” Blind-eye does not speak English nor does he talk in “groundhogese”; Bud speaks in “double-speak” the ancient dialect described in Greek mythology as the native tongue of those magical creatures that are half-man and half-garden slug with two faces which can state both sides of an argument. Blind-eye will poke his head out of his burrow and look around to see his shadow then return never to be seen again until an important event such as Opening Day, the All-Star game, or the World Series. This year Blind-eye Bud stepped outside his office in New York and looked up at the sky then down at his shoes and proclaimed there were no shadows in baseball. We can therefore expect business as usually and that all is well with the game. He then returned to the comfort of his home to begin the interview circuit justifying his position.

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