“Excuse me, could you please tell me which aisle I could find the Sedona Red rattlesnake eggs?” I asked. For the fourth consecutive store I was met with a blank stare by store employees followed by a pause and a “wha?” What kind of society do we live in when a guy can’t find Sedona Red or Sonoran Sand snake eggs for Easter? This is totally messed up. I’ve scoured the stores looking for plastic eggs for Easter and no one seems to be carrying the new Diamondbacks colors. I have found neon, pastel, speckled, camouflaged, Spiderman, sports balls (I did pick up 4 baseball looking eggs that were really cool), and metallic but no where did I come across any that were Sedona Red or Sonoran Sand. I would even have settled for black eggs but there were none of those either. Did these merchants not get the memo that the Diamondbacks had changed their colors? How in the world could I expect the Easter Bunny to fill Purple and Teal eggs and hide them for the children? That is so old school. I mean one of the main reasons for the color change was because it was difficult to reproduce the purple color on television and in merchandise. Yet here I am surrounded by 25 bags of purple and teal eggs that look identical to one another while I cannot find one single egg that matches the shade of my new Diamondbacks Sedona Red hat. And if that was not bad enough I find that they make Peeps in purple and in teal yet the Peeps company has never had a call in the history of the product (besides mine) that asked for them to create that marshmallow sugar confection in Sedona Red. As a consolation the receptionist on the other end of the phone did say they now made sugar free Peeps. How is that supposed to make me feel better? And while I was curious why anyone would want a sugar free Peep I just let it go. I did ask if they had an address where I could request product enhancements so that next year I would be able to find Sedona Red Peeps or at a minimum a nice Sonoran Sand marshmallow bunny.
My shopping experiences for Easter items were going no where quickly. I can’t find a Sedona Red PEZ dispenser, Peeps are only available in the Diamondbacks classic colors, and no one seems to have rattlesnake eggs. How exactly are we supposed to celebrate this holiday if vendors don’t cooperate? I could tell this was going to be a complete disaster. This would just destroy the kid’s belief in the Easter Bunny. I mean if he can’t build a few Sedona Red eggs, what good is he? I briefly considered buying cans of spray paint and making my own eggs, Peeps, and PEZ dispensers but after carefully reading the warning label on the back of the can I discounted this idea. In the end I did the best that I could. Each child would receive a new Easter outfit consisting of a Diamondbacks shirt with Sedona Red somewhere on it. They would also get an Easter bonnet. Two would receive Sedona Red bonnets with a black “D” logo, one would receive a black bonnet with a Sedona Red “A” logo, and one would receive a black bonnet with a Sedona Red “D” logo that the players wear for Spring Training. Lucky for me the team shop was open for some last minute shopping otherwise the bunny would have been cooked.