The Curse Upon Us

After the frustrating last two games in Colorado, I am sure the Diamondbacks were as anxious to get out of Denver as I was. Tuesday’s game was a heart breaker. After the late inning heroics of Stephen Drew in the eleventh gave the Diamondbacks the lead, we saw it evaporate in the bottom of the inning on a blown save by the “big potato” Jose Valverde. (For those who don’t know, Valverde was given the nickname Papa Grande by former announcer Jim Traber who obviously didn’t know the Spanish language. He thought the nickname meant big daddy but instead it translates to big pope or in other translations means large potato which doesn’t have quite the same feel to it.) So whenever Valverde enters the game with a tight score, my kids immediately begin to worry that Mr. Potatohead is going to blow the game (Tuesday was a prime example of the kids’ fears). And while Tuesday’s loss was frustrating, yesterdays was even worse. We’ve been told on several occasions how Doug Davis’ stats are nearly identical to those of Barry Zito. Perhaps they meant Harry Zito who used to work in Pikes Market in Seattle throwing fish. Davis looked a little like a fish out of water in his Diamondbacks debut. Couple his wildness with the J’D. Durbin hit parade and it was a really long two days. I was reminded last night of the parting words I heard from Irene the usher at Coors Field. After Monday’s game we went down to the Diamondbacks dugout. I was hoping to get a couple of pictures or maybe a baseball for Dakota. Irene was the keeper of the section. Her job was to make sure that riff-raff like me stayed away from the dugout. She was sweet and reminded me of my grandmother. She initially stopped me and we began talking. I told her this was my first trip to Coors Field. She asked how I liked their stadium and the game. Since the Diamondbacks had just won, I liked it a lot. She cautiously looked around then in a hushed voice she said, “well we let the Diamondbacks win today just for you. Since you are leaving town after this game I guess I can let you in on a little secret, we are going to kill you guys the next 2 games.” If I were a conspiracy theorist, I may have turned that into a whole month of blog entries stating that baseball is fixed and Pete Rose is not in the Hall of Fame because he was about to go public with this information when Bart Giamatti silenced him with a lifetime ban. But that’s a subject best left to another day. There are other supernatural forces at work here that are a bit more pressing.

I’ve talked at length about curses especially when related to the Diamondbacks. There is Rally Sally curse which I firmly believe in as I have seen it in action. There is also the Colangelo Curse which has kept the Diamondbacks out of the play-offs since 2002. This curse occurred when minority owners balked at another cash call by Managing General Partner Jerry Colangelo and plotted a coup d’etat to overthrow the partnership leadership. We are still feeling the results from this particular curse. I’m beginning to think that perhaps the Sedona Red movement is an attempt to overcome the Colangelo curse (purple was Jerry’s favorite color). It’s yet to be seen whether this curse reversal attempt will be successful or whether it will end up like all the failed attempts Chicago Cubs fans have made to reverse the Goat Curse. It should be noted that Jerry Colangelo’s name has surfaced as a potential buyer of the Chicago Cubs. It would be interesting to see how the goat curse and the Colangelo curse interact. They could cancel each other out making the Cubs a winner or it could cause a tear in the space time continuum destroying the very fabric of our dimension and reality.

The curse I we’re dealing with today is the RFK Curse. Ever since the Montreal Expos moved from Canada to Washington DC to become the Washington Nationals, the Diamondbacks have been unable to beat the Nationals on the road. It is not as if the Diamondbacks are never close to winning at RFK. Quite the contrary, they are usually right in the game or leading at the very end only to see victory snatched from them. Last year was a prime example. In the series at RFK stadium the Diamondbacks were leading after the seventh inning in each game only to see some bizarre event occur causing them to lose the game. This curse will suck the life right out of your soul. The Diamondbacks have only 4 games to remove this curse since the Nationals will be moving out of that stadium into a new baseball only ballpark for Opening Day 2008. I am hoping that somewhere stuck within the bags of balls, bats, and uniforms that the Diamondbacks equipment manager has the tools necessary to exorcise these demons and let the Diamondbacks break this heinous curse.

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