Cinco de Mayo

Cinco de Mayo is always a fun day to spend at the ballpark. Few young Americans understand the significance of this holiday. Lost is the fact that this battle purged the French from Mexican soil or what implications it might have had to the United States had Napoleon been successful in his conquest of Mexico. No this date has become an excuse to party and consume large amounts of Mexican cuisine and larger amounts of alcohol. And really what better place to have a margarita and a Garcia’s burrito than Chase Field?

The Diamondbacks had just dropped two games to the dreaded New York Mets and were looking for a change of fortunes. They had on the mound their ace Brandon Webb and they were wearing their black jerseys; the only new jersey color that was undefeated. It was a fairly lively crowd which unfortunately seemed to be made up of more New York Mets fans than Diamondbacks fans. Trina and I went to the game and as we entered the stadium we were given Gila River Casino margarita glasses. They were kind of cute but I have to admit they would have been cooler if they had purple cactus stems instead of the red (it wasn’t Sedona Red by any means). Trina was less than impressed with the giveaway mostly because she doesn’t drink so a margarita glass is pretty much wasted on her. I could see on her face I was about to get the lecture on lame Diamondbacks giveaway items that already filled our house. In a preemptive strike I offered, “Hey these would make really cool ice cream glasses”. That immediately disarmed Trina and she began talking about a new smoothie recipe she had found. I sort of zoned out at that moment or I would have posted the recipe for you to try yourself.

Over the past few years the Diamondbacks have had vendors that move through the stands selling frozen margaritas to accompany the more traditional beer, peanut, and cotton candy sales. The vendors carry around these futuristic jetpack looking backpacks filled with margarita mix. When a customer buys one out comes this hose from the bottom of the jet pack and fills the glass with greenish-yellow fluid. Tonight these guys were working overtime trying to keep up with the demand from the stands. The poor vendor had to keep telling the patrons that he could not use the promotional giveaway margarita glasses when they bought a drink. I wish I had a dime for every time he had to explain that. I would be able to pay off Russ Ortiz’ contract and that’s a lot of money.

I wish the Diamondbacks would use the black jersey and hat combination more. The team looks downright sinister in those uniforms. The intimidation factor jumps a good 12 points when they are wearing the black. With the black jersey Brandon Medders looks like El Guapo from the Three Amigos. I was just waiting for him to turn and ask Brandon Lyon, “Jefe, would you say I have a plethora of pitches?” Indeed the Diamondbacks had all the raw materials to erase the ugliness of the last two days. To paraphrase another classic line from the Three Amigos, “I suppose you could say that everyone has an El Guaop. For some, losing 4 games in a row may be an El Guapo. For others, lack of education may be an El Guapo. But for us, El Guapo is a large ugly team from New York that wants to kill us!” And so it was, for the third consecutive time we saw the Diamondbacks go down in defeat to the New York Mets and all we have to show for it is some plastic ice cream glasses and an intoxicated vendor with an empty yellow jet pack.

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