Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is one of those holidays that just feels made up by Bell Telephone and the Hallmark corporations. What other possible explanation can you give for a day where you call your mom and send her a card? This is not one of those elective holidays like Martin Luther King Day or Veteran’s Day where the only people who get the day off are school children and the post office. No, if you ask any woman who has raised a child (or in our case a husband who acts like a child) this is the number one holiday for the year. It has all the importance of Yom Kippur, Easter, Christmas, and Boxing Day. Just try to blow off this holiday and see how long it takes you to be forgiven (if ever). Luckily for me I had planned ahead and done my Mother’s Day shopping so I would not be facing the wrath of Mom (which by the way is the best of all the Star Trek movies that they made). All that I was missing was a killer card to go with my killer gift. Sure, I could have taken the standard path and done what I do every year and get a card at Circle-K when I stopped to get gas but this year I wanted something special (that and I had just gotten gas so there was no reason to stop by Circle-K especially since the Diamondbacks have not recorded 12 strike outs at a home game all season meaning that I don’t have any ThirstBuster coupons and I am not happy about that at all). No I decided that the best plan of action was for me to make Trina a card.


What woman would not appreciate the efforts of a homemade card? After all, it would be a one-of-a-kind form of communication. I remember when I was 5 that I made my mom a card in Kindergarten. She loved it and it hung on our refrigerator until I graduated from high school. I like to think of myself as a creative kind of guy so I figured I would go all out. At first I thought maybe I would make one of those cards that make sound like I saw on the Hallmark commercial. But I could not figure out how to get a CD player and speakers in an envelope so I went with Plan “B”. What is Plan “B” you ask? Poetry. After the long ball, chicks dig poetry. So I sat down to write a poem that would best describe my feelings for my wife. After several iterations and about a half a notebook of paper, I came up with this:

M – is for the many baseball games I go to

O – is for the other baseball games I go to

T – is for the terrific baseball games I go to

H – is for the home baseball games I go to

E – is for every baseball game I go to

R – is for the rest of the baseball games I go to.

Put it all together and you can see that next to baseball you are the best thing that happens between April and October not counting Opening Day, the All-Star game, or the World Series.

I decorated each letter and colored them Sedona Red, Sonoran Sand, and Black (NOTE TO SELF: send a letter to Crayola to ask that they please change the names of the crayons to match the names of the Diamondbacks colors). Looking over the card and seeing all that I put into it, it almost brought a tear to my eye. Well to be honest the Diamondbacks dropping 2 of 3 to the Houston Astros is what brought a tear to my eye. This is going to be one of those Mother’s Days that Trina is never going to forget.


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