Barry and the Toe Truck

One of the hidden benefits to having seats along the left field line is the fact that the Arizona Diamondbacks play the San Francisco Giants 18 times during a season with 9 of those games being held at Chase Field. This gives the fans 162 innings to give Barry Bonds grief assuming he plays every game. This assumption has for the most part been false this season. It seems like every time the Giants come to town Barry seems to have some sort of issue that keeps him out of the line-up. Everyone keeps touting that steroids help you to heal faster. I think Barry must have gotten a bum deal (pun intended) on his batch because he’s always hurt. The Giants were officially eliminated from play-off contention when they lost to the Diamondbacks last Wednesday. They were unofficially eliminated from the play-offs when they re-signed Barry Bonds at the winter meetings in Orlando last year. So with the play-offs out of reach for yet another season the question became; how committed would Barry Bonds be to playing out the rest of the season?

That question answered itself on Saturday at Petco Park in San Diego. Barry Bonds was taking up his usual space in left field (I hesitate describing what he does as playing left field as that detracts from what other players actually do out there) when Padres first baseman Adrian Gonzalez hit a deep fly ball towards the wall. In what could best be described as a temporary lack of judgment on Bonds part he actually jumped into the air to try and catch the ball. There is some confusion as to whether Bonds at one point had possession of the ball or if it just landed in a fan’s glove. Regardless, the ball ended in the stands for a home run. Bonds whose body has not voluntarily left the ground since the first George Bush presidency landed awkwardly and he sprained his right big toe. Yes you heard that right; the career home run leader with 762 dingers sprained his big toe while trying to catch a ball. These are things you just can’t make up. In excruciating pain Bonds attempted to put weight on the toe. It failed like an MLB drug test and Bonds gingerly limped from the field in what could be his last visit to Petco Park. Team officials initially reported that Bonds could be out for a couple of days. Manager Bruce Bochy clarified that the time table could be much longer as Bonds’ toe has substantially swollen. Substantially swollen? I wonder if Barry mistakenly dipped his toe in some “cream”? Maybe those weren’t his cleats. Maybe he got those cleats from Mike Sweeney’s locker. Poor Barry, as anybody can tell you a toe jam can be very painful. It’s almost as painful as watching a 43 year old guy try to play the outfield. There is always a silver lining to these dark clouds. At least now maybe we won’t have to endure having to see or listen to Barry Bonds personal groupie Pedro Gomez try and report from the ballpark.

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