Trick or Treat

As a kid you just had to love Halloween. What could be better than dressing up as a favorite character and go door-to-door and have people give you free candy? When we were kids we started trick-or-treating almost as soon as school let out and didn’t get home until nearly 10 PM. Our diet for the night consisted of whatever we got at the house we just visited. It was an innocent time filled with childhood dreams. As I have gotten older Halloween has lost some of its magic and luster. Now you have to worry about your kids leaving the neighborhood or if you have enough candy at the house for all the kids that will be coming to trick-or-treat. All this reminiscing about the past had me longing for my childhood. Of course at my age I have to worry about cavities and tooth decay so I wondered what if fans could trick-or-treat around Major League Baseball.

The neighborhood is relatively small and pretty exclusive neighborhood. It could almost be described as a gated community. What kid has not fantasized about what great treats the houses in a gated community give out? After all there are a finite number of trick-or-treaters but almost an infinite budget for Halloween candy. That is like Halloween candy nirvana. Of course you would need the perfect costume in order to garner the best of the treats. At first I thought about dressing up as Bud Selig but I thought that would seem like such a suck-up. Besides, who really wants to go around Halloween night looking like a guy that has been dead for years? I have an old devil costume and I thought I could wear that along with a Rockies jersey and go as the “Great Troy Tulowitzki” but I just couldn’t force myself to actually wear a Colorado jersey. This was a much more difficult decision than I had anticipated. I struggled with the various costume choices and then it finally hit me. I ran to the costume shop and gathered all the necessary supplies to make the perfect outfit. I came home and began the preparations. The costume choice had two parts so I needed a partner if I was going to pull this off. Since I can usually get Trina to go along with most all of my schemes I would draft her into action.

My costume would require a ballpoint pen, a legal pad, a cell phone, and an Armani suit. Trina’s costume would require a New York Yankees jersey and hat and maybe a stripper. Ok the stripper is optional and given that this is my wife’s costume it is probably unlikely. This was the perfect costume. I would lead Trina in her number 13 jersey to each house and knock on the door. When the owner of the house opened the door I would begin to explain how my partner could help them around their house and provide them with volumes of data that would show the benefits they would receive by filling our trick-or-treat bags to capacity with cash. A lot of the home owners in the gated community might balk at our methods but I bet there are 4 or 15 of the owners that would show interest and at least one of them would be crazy enough to like our costumes and give us everything we wanted and then some. After all, who could possibly shut the door on someone dressed up like Scott Boras and Alex Rodriguez? This kind of costume may never come around again and you don’t want to slam the door on such a unique opportunity.

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