Relocation Worries

Since Saturday I have been hunkered down at my computer wading through the mountains of data that I have accumulated over the past 10 years trying to put together a plan of action. The Arizona Diamondbacks definitely have not made this easy on me. I think I have gotten soft in my old age (old age being a relative term. I still think of myself as young but according to my kids I am ancient). I am used to the easy life where I get a note in the mail from the Diamondbacks then they have an open house at the ballpark where I can go and spend the day sitting in the various seats at Chase Field and take pictures of the sight lines to try and imagine whether a particular seat will work for me for the upcoming season. With this year’s abbreviated schedule I did not have that luxury. It was as though the Diamondbacks just assumed I knew where I wanted to sit next season. Oh what a very silly assumption.

In the days since Saturday I have commented to Trina several times what a hardship this has been. Trina being the sympathetic soul that she is merely stated “quit whining and just fill out the form. There is nothing you can do about it so let it go.” Ah that is what I love about her, she is so empathetic to me and my trials. I guess I should feel lucky that I am not one of those African children that Sally Struthers keeps trying to get money for. I am not sure Trina would spend the $1 a day it would take to support me. No, I am not going to let this little bit of adversity stop me from accomplishing my goal to successfully fill out my seat relocation form and turn it in by the requisite deadline. Having attended pretty much every home game the Diamondbacks have ever played I felt that I had a little bit of advantage over someone who only occasionally goes to a game. Being an amateur photographer also meant that I had taken more than my fair share of pictures at the ballpark throughout the years. Given that, all I really need to do is find every picture I ever took at Bank One Ballpark/Chase Field and determine where I was standing or sitting when I took the shot. I could then piece together a list of potential seat locations from which I could choose. That seemed simple enough.

What I had not anticipated was the magnitude of pictures I had taken nor the volume of games that I had attended. On the surface 81 regular season games over 10 years doesn’t seem like a lot but going through 35 scorebooks covering 810 regular season games plus 17 post season games and another 18 Spring Training games can be a little time consuming. I then focused my attention on photographs that I had taken. Over the course of the years I have shot over 4,000 pictures of the Diamondbacks. I quickly realized that I probably should have labeled the photos a little better since it took me forever to try and find them all and identify where I was sitting at the time. I have also diligently written a journal for most of my life and that helped as I tried to remember various points of interest or games where I might have been sitting somewhere other than my seats. My desk was overrun with all of these artifacts strung across its surface and the floor. Family members were threatened with their lives if they moved anything. Time was too short for anything unexpected to happen. After spending more all-nighters than I did in 2 years of college; I finally had boiled down my list of candidate seat locations for the 2008 season. I began to assemble the data into a format that I could send to the Arizona Diamondbacks. My seat alternatives list consisted of 20 different choices so obviously I couldn’t just add this to the seat relocation form. Instead I developed an annotated spreadsheet (who knows I might need this data again at some future point when I am time constrained and need to select seats). Looking at my watch I figured I had about 30 minutes before the Season Ticket Services personnel would leave for the day. I needed to get this information quickly to the team. I didn’t want to take any chances so I figured I would cover all bases. I saved the forms in PDF format and attached them to an email which was sent high priority to the email address for Season Ticket Services. I also used an Internet fax service and faxed the information to the team. I was a little concerned about the reliability of Internet fax so I also went to a local copy center and faxed the information myself. On all three correspondences I asked for a confirmation of receipt of the information. If last year taught me anything it is that you can’t be too paranoid. Looking at my watch I was pleased to see that I had met the deadline and that the information was now in the hands of Season Ticket Services; or was it?

Being the father of five children; I have been through my share of pregnancies and I can tell you that waiting on Seat Relocation confirmation is even more stressful than waiting for your wife to give birth. It’s probably best that we don’t share that tidbit of information with Trina as I am sure that would result in yet another discussion about how my priorities are misaligned (as if it is isn’t her that has the improper priorities). Speaking of child birth, I have this theory. Men, if you are in town when your wife is delivering your child you should probably go into the delivery room otherwise you may never hear the end of it. But if you have the choice to be out of town, get out of town and send flowers. That may seem cold and callous but let me explain. Husbands in a delivery room are kind of like American League pitchers who can hit. It really doesn’t matter what kind of skills you have, you are going to be sitting on the bench watching the action unfold. Your wife on the other hand is in the game and after every pitch she will step out of the batter’s box and scream at you about how worthless you are and how you are destroying her career. In my case I am not real thrilled about pain and suffering (mine or Trina’s) and so me being in there is just going to mean that the doctor is going to have to deal with two people who are ready to pass out instead of just one. That being said, I was there for the birth of all 5 kids so before the women rise up with torches and pitch forks just realize that I have been to the front lines of battle and I have seen things that no man should ever have to see.

So now that the work has been done and has been submitted I have nothing else to do but sit and wait. Trina will be the first to tell you that patience is not one of my strengths so for me to wait for anything is a challenge. When it is something as important as breathing or Diamondbacks tickets (not in that order) I get really antsy. Before long I couldn’t sit anymore and I began pacing the floor. All I could think about was my email or fax laying dead somewhere never having reached its destination. My stomach was in knots as I worried about what might be happening. I made a note to myself that first thing in the morning I was calling the Diamondbacks. I know the form said to wait until December 20 but by then it might be too late. I just could not chance it.

We have received your relocation information. We will begin the process in early January. If you have any questions, please contact me directly. Thanks for your email and for supporting the Arizona Diamondbacks.


I started to look up the contact number for Diamondbacks Season Ticket Services (it is among the speed dial numbers on my phone which is not sitting well with Trina. She doesn’t quite understand why I removed the number for the fire department and replaced it with a number to the Arizona Diamondbacks season ticket office. Like when was the last time we had a fire? I can tell you that the Diamondbacks number is used a lot more often. Besides the button was close to being Sedona Red so it just seemed to fit). Before I could lift the receiver an email arrived from Luis at the Diamondbacks season ticket office. He wanted to assure me that they had gotten my information and that ticket relocation would begin early next month. Whoa, it won’t start until next month? By that time I am going to have a hole worn through Trina’s carpet pacing back and forth worrying about where I might be sitting next season. This is going to be a very long month I can see that already.

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