A Sign of the Apocalypse

“How come I haven’t seen a blog entry on this story?” It’s funny how an email with a single line of text enclosed can ruin your day. I am pretty sure that when Andre sent me that email he knew full well that this story would make my blood pressure shoot up like Old Faithful. I count this as one of the signs of the impending apocalypse when someone like “the great Troy Tulowitzki” is rewarded with a six year extension after one year of Major League service. Perhaps the rarefied air in Colorado has finally resulted in casualties. It is obvious that general manager Dan O’Dowd has suffered some kind of brain oxygen starvation to hand this kind of money to someone like “the great Troy Tulowitzki” after only one season. To hear the Denver press talk about this guy you would think that Chicago Cubs shortstop Joe Tinker had been reincarnated. For those who may not know the name of Joe Tinker let me give you a little background. Joe Tinker played for the Cubs back when they were good. Not good like “hey what happened we made the play-offs”; no good like “hey we won the World Series and we like goats”.

Joe Tinker arrived in 1902 along with second baseman Johnny Evers and first baseman Frank Chance. They first appeared in a Cubs game together on September 2, 1902 and on September 3 they turned their first double-play. Over the next three seasons they would become one of the most prolific double-play combinations in the history of baseball. They were immortalized in a poem by Franklin Pierce Adams who himself was a New York Giants fan.

These are the saddest of possible words:

“Tinker to Evers to Chance.”

Trio of bear cubs, and fleeter than birds,

Tinker and Evers and Chance.

Ruthlessly pricking our gonfalon bubble,

Making a Giant hit into a double —

Words that are heavy with nothing but trouble:

“Tinker to Evers to Chance.”

Franklin Pierce Adams

I find it very difficult to believe that the Colorado Rockies will develop a similar double-play combination. Something about “the great Troy Tulowitzki” to whatever guy we can sign to a minor league deal to Helton just does not have the same ring to it. Perhaps it is the fact that “the great Troy Tulowitzki” knows how to play the game as he demonstrated in the NLCS against the Arizona Diamondbacks when he stared down Arizona rookie Justin Upton because he looked at the pitcher after being drilled with a pitch. Yeah that was bad enough but then to hear “the great Troy Tulowitzki” rip Upton to the media as he explained that was not the proper way to play the game. Yeah I can definitely see where that is worth $30 million over 6 years. Perhaps the Rockies were rewarding “the great Troy Tulowitzki” for his 130 strikeouts last season. If he can keep up that pace he will have nearly 800 strikeouts over the course of this contract making each one worth $38,461.54. Well that’s not too bad I guess. At that rate he will make more than the President of the United States in one three-game series. Of course we can all hope that maybe someone will bring a goat to Coors Field and have it denied entry thereby starting another curse. Never mock the power of the goat curse. In 2008 the Chicago Cubs will be celebrating their 100th anniversary of not winning a World Series. So here’s hoping “the great Troy Tulowitzki” has a similar career to Billy Sianis’s pet. I would love nothing more than at the end of his career opening a “great Troy Tulowitzki” Goat Tavern outside of Coors Field. Thanks Andre, I really needed that email.

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