It’s Moving Time!

It should come as no surprise that my cell phone has “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” as its ringer. This is in large part due to the fact that I cannot find anyone who offers a ringer based upon the Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers song D-Backs Swing. It’s probably just as well though because I would probably not answer my phone at all if D-Backs Swing was playing just so that I could hear the full song. Anyway, I digress. When my cell phone rang I absent mindedly retrieved it from my pocket and glanced at the display to see who was calling. The displayed number immediately got my attention. I know that number, that is the phone number to the Arizona Diamondbacks. Two things immediately should be noted here. First, it is just sad that I have memorized the prefix and many of the extensions of the phone numbers to the Arizona Diamondbacks. That doesn’t seem to be a normal thing regardless of how big a fan you are of the team. The second point and in my opinion the more important thing is that you need to understand what it means when I get a phone call from the Arizona Diamondbacks. Probably the closest thing I can compare this to would be how Bruce Wayne must feel when he gets a call on the Bat Phone. Visions of secret identities, crime fighting, hidden caves, and really cool technology fill my head as each note emanates from the phone’s speaker. I have no idea why, it is not like I have ever run out into the streets and looked up at the sky towards Chase Field to see if there is a signal shining on the clouds. Ok I have to admit I have actually done that only to feel kind of stupid as I tried to explain to Trina why I somehow thought that there actually would be a signal appearing above the stadium. Anyway, the important thing here was that my phone was ringing and it was the Arizona Diamondbacks.


I flipped open the phone and with every ounce of strength I could muster I restrained myself from saying, “Batman here” when I answered. I’m not exactly sure what the response would have been if I had answered the phone that way but my fear was that the Diamondbacks might actually be trying to call Superman or something and hang up thinking they got the wrong number. Instead I stood up holding my phone in my left hand with my elbow out as if in a salute while my right hand was on my waist. My chest was proudly stuck out and a slight breeze blew through my hair giving the whole scene kind of a comic book salute aura about it. “Hello” I said in my best Captain America voice. On the other end of the phone was a nice young lady named Jamie. She introduced herself and explained that she was with Season Ticket Services calling to talk about seat relocation for the 2008 season.

I immediately began shaking as she described the relocation process and how they were now at my priority number. I had flashbacks from last season when I heard that the team had lost my relocation request. Fortunately I was not in the process of taking my blood pressure as I was sure it spiked higher than Old Faithful. I meekly asked if the team had received my relocation request and if everything was ok. There was a silence on the other end of the phone and my pulse began to race. “Mr. Summers, we do have your relocation request. All twenty choices. You have by far the most comprehensive relocation package we have ever seen here.” That complement was better than any gold star I ever received in elementary school. I can hardly wait to get to the stadium and tell all the other season ticket holders that the account representatives think my relocation package was the most complete. That has to be good for a discount on a Hungry Hill Sausage or something doesn’t it? I briefly considered having a bumper sticker made for Trina’s car that says, “My Husband is an honor student for Diamondbacks seat relocation packages” but I am not sure Trina would appreciate that as much as I would.

Jamie and I sat on the phone as she explained the process and provided me with details of how they went through relocation. My mind was still focusing on the whole bumper sticker idea so I have to admit I wasn’t paying attention (sorry Jamie). In the end she stated that they were able to successfully relocate me for the upcoming season. That news of course made me want to set the phone down and do a cartwheel in the living room. Two things stopped me. First I was trying to pay attention to Jamie after getting the bumper sticker idea out of my mind and second I wasn’t sure I could navigate a chair, a couch, and an end table during a cartwheel and the last thing I needed was to try and call 9-1-1 and explain that I had just broken a hip while doing a cartwheel because I was going to get new Diamondbacks seats. A lot of firemen and ambulance workers don’t really understand what it is like being a true fan. So instead I listened intently to Jamie’s instructions. She gave me the new seat locations and she must have sensed I was not completely there mentally because she made me repeat them to make sure I got it right. That was a good idea because it took me 3 tries to get it right. After receiving the news I thanked her about 20 times and I may have even offered a blessing on her posterity and offered her a dog in gratitude.

As soon as I hung up the phone I began dancing around the house and singing, “I have seats for 2008, neener, neener, neener” The lyrics may still need some work but I think I have the melody down pat. This was obviously much bigger news than I could contain just to myself. I considered running outside and standing in the middle of the street yelling my new seat location but then decided it might be more prudent if I just sent messages to those I thought cared the most. I grabbed my cell phone and sent a new text message to Trina and each of the kids. It simply said, “Great news, we’re moving!” I did not even think that the family may not be on the same wavelength as I was. Looking back that should have been obvious they have never been on the same wavelength as I have been on anything. Instead of responses of cheer and jubilation I was inundated with messages of fear and confusion. Somehow they had jumped to the conclusion that I had quit my job and we were moving to a different state. No, this is much more important than that. We are moving seats at Chase Field! Only Tiffany seemed to really care (which is why she is my favorite baseball fan kid). For 2008, we are moving to Section 112 Row 8, Seats 7-8. It was Trina that realized that adding all those numbers together equate to a nine (1+1+2+8+7+8=27, 2+7=9). It got even stranger when I looked at my relocation form and noticed that my 2008 seat relocation was actually my ninth choice. I’ve long believed that the number 9 is stalking me as it just keeps coming up at every major milestone in my life. (That’s an entry for another time.) For now let’s just say that Section 112 Row 8 Seats 7-8 are my favorite numbers. I have so much I have to do. I need to go to the post office and get a Change of Address kit to notify all my friends and family that we are moving and where they will be able to find me. I need to upgrade my blog too because I am no longer Just a guy from Section 132 I am now Just a guy from Section 112 which is an important distinction. I have so much that needs to be done I am not even sure where to start.


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