The Marathon Man

For the past five years Phoenix has held the P.F. Chang’s Rock ‘n’ Roll Marathon that begins in Phoenix and ends in Tempe. Each year the event has gotten larger and larger. This year saw over 34,000 people enter to run either the 26.2 mile marathon or the 13.1 mile half-marathon. The event is part race and part party. There are musical bands along the route to serenade the participants as they run. This year bands such as One Foot in the Grave and the Screamin’ Javelinas rocked the runners on the marathon route. From all accounts this is one of the best organized marathons in the country.

I am not much of a runner, I left my track shoes at the high school when I graduated and never really looked back. If I have to go 26.2 miles I would much prefer taking my car or if I feel adventurous I’ll hop on my Harley. That is not to say I am not athletically minded, I once watched the finish of a marathon so I am aware of what the runners look like. It is just that after this many years of playing organized sports there is absolutely no way my knees would ever handle running on the concrete for either 13.1 or 26.2 miles at least not if I ever wanted to walk again. As I reached my 45th birthday I briefly considered training to run a half marathon just so that I could one day say I accomplished that. Then I went out and ran with my daughter Tiffany during one of her track workouts and realized there was just not a chance in the world I would make it through the course. So instead of donning my running shorts and placing a numbered bib on my jersey I did the next best thing. I got up this morning and put on my Arizona Diamondbacks Sedona Red jersey and baseball hat. I then headed down to the kitchen and popped a very large bag of popcorn before retiring to the family room. Settling down in the most comfortable chair in the room I grabbed the Tivo remote control and pressed the button. Trina happened to walk by about this time and asked what was going on. I explained that today was marathon day. She looked slightly confused so I went on to explain. Since I am unable to actually run the marathon I decided to have my own event. I have queued up every Arizona Diamondbacks 2007 baseball game that I have on our Tivo and I plan on watching every one of them back-to-back. If I have time I plan to follow that up with a half-marathon where I plan on watching every episode of the Eric Byrnes show that was recorded from Fox Sports Arizona. Looking at the listing of the number of games that I have recorded it would have taken less time to actually run 26.2 miles than it will for me to watch all of these games.

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