I am definitely not a slave to fashion. Trina refers to my tastes in clothing as "Team Shop Chic". I once asked her what that meant and her response was that basically my clothing choices came down to whatever was new at the team shop at a given home stand. I once tried to argue that wasn't the case but I was quickly confronted by 10 Diamondbacks T-Shirts, 4 personalized Diamondbacks jerseys, and 15 Diamondbacks hats. I tried to justify that by stating that I had to get new clothes because the team changed their colors. That statement led to a fairly large box in the garage that contained a treasure chest of Diamondbacks Classic apparel of purple and teal. About the only portion of my wardrobe that is not dictated by the team shop merchandise is my dress clothes. At least that is what we thought until recently.
Before Christmas Trina suggested that I needed a couple of dress shirts for those occasions when more formal attire is required beyond a T-shirt or a Diamondbacks polo shirt. For the life of me I could not think of an event or activity that would require that type of formal attire. Trina suggested perhaps a wedding but then stopped herself in mid-sentence when she remembered that for our oldest daughter's wedding both Dakota and I sported matching Diamondbacks hats. They were black and did match the tuxedo so I thought they would be appropriate. Trina's next suggestion was that I would want to dress up to attend a funeral. This of course led to yet another lengthy discussion about her Grandma Baker's funeral. I'm still not sure I understand why she continues to bring that up. It is not like Grandma said anything. Besides I was behaved. I didn't do the wave and we left the foam finger in the car so I did have some respect. The important thing was that I was there. (Well the real important thing was that we won the game but I figured bringing that up might not be the most prudent thing I have ever done in my life). It was clear that this discussion really wasn't going Trina's way so she just put down the mandate that I needed dress clothes. We went shopping which was more painful than I had anticipated. Strangely Trina made the exact same comment when the salesperson would bring me a dress shirt and I would compare the color to my Diamondbacks hat to the fabric to make sure we had the appropriate shade of Sedona Red. In the end I had three dress shirts. I had a Sonoran Sand shirt, a Sedona Red shirt, and a Black shirt. The black dress shirt is only worn at home on Saturdays because I don't want to have to pack different socks and batting helmets. Hey that excuse worked for the Diamondbacks I figured it would work for me too. I had my three dress shirts so you would have thought I would be off the hook but Trina insisted that I needed ties to go with these shirts. I have a real problem with ties. I blame my parents. Growing up we watched a lot of western movies and every time I have to wear a tie all I can think about is horse rustling and being hung for being a horse thief. Christmas came and went and I thought I had escaped the notion of getting a tie. Trina though was pretty insistent and so every time we go into a store she takes that opportunity to steer me towards the ties hoping one will catch my fancy. Personally I think Trina is crazy as I have no intention of warming up to a tie so usually I just go along for the ride. Today that changed. We happened to go into of all places Wal-Mart. I of course made a beeline to electronics to look at flat screen televisions. Trina did whatever women do at Wal-Mart. I have taken a "no questions asked" attitude when it comes to Wal-Mart. Asking why we go to Wal-Mart is about on the same terms as asking what is in a hot dog. If I knew what I was eating I probably wouldn't eat them ever again so what I don't know won't hurt me (except in the case of hot dogs). On my way back to electronics I walked past men's clothing. I never pay attention to that area but today stopped me dead in my tracks. There in front of me was a piece of clothing I just could not live without. I was so excited I rushed to the rack and immediately found my size then rushed to Trina to show her what I found. I figured as much as she is on me about dress clothes this would make her ecstatic. When I found her I eagerly showed her my treasure. Holding it up so she could see how it would look on me I modeled the item. She just stared at me speechless. I know, I couldn't believe it either. Who knew they made neck ties that have the Arizona Diamondbacks logos all over them? Trina just stood there staring at my neck and chest. I could have sworn I saw a tear of joy roll down her cheek. I am such a good husband. Now if only I could find a dress that matched my tie then I'd take her out on the town so everyone can see what great fashion sense I have.
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