Cupid Draw Back Your Bow

A few days ago I happened to walk past the side of the refrigerator where we normally keep the calendar. There scrawled across various days are the activities we need to be aware of. With four kids at home it is usually a logistical nightmare to try and manage everyone’s schedule. To Trina’s credit she is a mastermind at keeping track of what everyone is doing and where they need to be at any given moment. The calendar of course has been updated to reflect all the Diamondbacks games both home and away so that Trina and the kids know whether I will be home (away games) or away (home games). Usually I don’t pay much attention to the calendar as I am pretty oblivious to what is going on with regards to the kids lives. It is not that I am a neglectful father; quite the contrary I like to be involved with the kids activities (unless there is a game of course). That is usually the problem (the problem is not that there are games, the problem is that I like to be involved). The family usually cringes whenever I get involved as something usually goes unexplainably wrong and I swear it isn’t my fault. Well, not completely my fault. I will admit, I am single-handedly responsible for being banned from the science fair. But really who would have expected that I could possibly have gotten an entire grade of school children to believe that the earth is flat just by using a quarter? That’s a different subject and much too little baseball to be discussed here; let’s get back to the subject.

I happened to look at the calendar and noticed that February 14 had a big red Sedona Red circle around it with hearts drawn all over the day. Ah, that is what I love about my wife. She remembered that Spring Training was coming and that I loved baseball. I really did appreciate the reminder (as if I needed a reminder of when Spring Training started) but unfortunately Trina had drawn the circle and the hearts on the wrong day. While the majority of Major League Baseball teams did have pitchers and catchers report on February 14, the Diamondbacks chose to have players report to Spring Training on February 15 to allow them to spend Valentine’s Day with the ones the love. Oh! Crap, that calendar day wasn’t circled to remind me of Spring Training, it was circled because if it wasn’t circled I would completely forget about Valentine’s Day and focus on Spring Training. Well I guess I showed her, that calendar day WAS circled and I still thought about Spring Training. Yeah it feels good to be right once in a while. Wait, I did forget Valentine’s Day and I did focus on Spring Training which incidentally starts tomorrow in case anyone was wondering. As luck would have it Valentine’s Day occurred on a Thursday which meant that Trina would be teaching school giving me an opportunity to recover from my lack of calendar clairvoyance and get a gift without Trina ever knowing that I had forgotten. So I made a note to myself to leave work a few minutes early and go find a gift for my wife. I know I said that I was going to give her the Diamondbacks Dinnerware from the Fan Fest as a Valentine’s Day gift but after consulting with my daughters I was told in no uncertain terms that “mom would kill you if you tried that dad”. Great, a perfectly good gift idea goes to waste and now I was back at square one. As I got in my car at the end of the day I wondered what I was going to do. I’ve long told my family that “Nothing says ‘I love you’ like Sedona Red” so I immediately considered driving down to the team shop to see if they had anything with a Valentine’s Day sentiment. A call from my daughter quickly dashed that idea as she insisted that mom wanted something without an “A” logo or a “D” logo on it. This was all of a sudden getting a lot harder than I had anticipated. I didn’t think I had been in enough trouble to justify jewelry (that is best left for times when you forgot to mention that Channel 3 would be arriving at your door at 6 AM to film a segment for their morning news show about your bobble head collection or when you thought she said she would love it if you just bought a Harley Davidson motorcycle instead of a car for the kids to drive to school). I stopped by the local mall thinking maybe something from Victoria Secret would be nice. I had never been in that store before and after my experiences today I doubt I’ll be going back. First off I think I was probably the only male in the entire store. That will immediately get the attention of a gaggle of women trying on undergarments. Secondly, the clientele seemed slightly uneasy to see a grown man digging through piles of women’s unmentionables and holding them up to compare against the color of his hat. Come on people do you really want to wear something that is not the right shade of Sedona Red? Think about that next time instead of branding someone as a pervert! Well after a brief discussion with a security guard I decided maybe I needed a different gift idea. As I was leaving the mall I noticed a florist coming into the building carrying a plant. Why didn’t I think of that? Plants are good. After driving through the parking lot of a couple of flower shops I realized there are a lot of guys who mistakenly thought that the Sedona Red circle around today’s date was for Spring Training. These shops were packed and there was no way I was going to get anywhere near the door. Then I remembered that the grocery store carried flowers. I quickly went in and found that they indeed still had a relatively large collection in their display. I took off my hat and began comparing the roses against the hat. It’s amazing how a little abnormal behavior can get you bumped to the top of the customer service food chain. I tried to explain to the young lady that I needed a dozen roses and I would prefer them to be Sedona Red. She looked nervous and began explaining that none of their flowers were from Sedona. Hello, did you not hear what I was saying? The flowers don’t need to be from Sedona and they are not being delivered to Sedona, they just need to be Sedona Red. She seemed very confused so I decided a demonstration was in order. I pulled out a rose and set it next to my hat, too pink. I tried another, too maroon. Finally after the third flower we had a match, ding, ding, ding. Now we only need eleven more. Within three minutes I had a whole department of customer service people helping me as we tried to piece together a dozen Sedona Red flowers. I had to stop and laugh about half way through when someone brought a flower only to be told by another worker that it had too much brick color and was closer to being a Houston Astro rose than an Arizona Diamondbacks rose. Finally after what seemed like an eternity I had a dozen roses that were at least close to Sedona Red. Along the way I was even able to find three sprigs of Sonoran Sand Baby’s Breathe to complete the look. I grabbed the first non-Spanish Valentine’s Card I could find that had the word “wife” on the front and headed for the check stand. I couldn’t help but notice the relieved look on the customer service manager’s face as I was leaving the store. Not sure what that was all about. I signed the card while sitting at a stop light then rushed into the house arriving just moments before Trina did. As she came in the house and saw the roses she rushed over and gave me a hug and a kiss. See I told you nothing said I love you like Sedona Red. Now I only hope that Trina didn’t forget that tomorrow is the real holiday; Spring Training starts.

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