Is That a Light?

For the past 108 days 8 hours and 53 minutes I have been without Arizona Diamondbacks baseball with the exception of a few games that are nearly worn out that were recorded on my Tivo from last season. That may not seem like a big deal but to a diehard Diamondbacks fan that seems like an eternity. January is an especially brutal month for baseball fans. For most of the country it is the coldest month of the year and also seems as though it drags on forever. I have to keep checking the calendar to make sure that someone at the Hallmark Corporation has not somehow added a few extra days into the first month of the year. I have long maintained that Hallmark is secretly the brains behind all calendars. I came to this conclusion after realizing there is no other explanation for why there are greeting cards available for pretty much every day of the year. If Hallmark could somehow find a way to sneak another day onto the calendar it would mean more profits in their pockets. I refer to this as the “great Calendar Conspiracy”, it is one of many conspiracies that I have concocted over the years.


Another conspiracy I like to bring up during casual conversations at parties is my proposition that all serial killers are secretly Helen Reddy fans. There is just something about hearing “I am woman hear me roar” that brings out a person’s killer instinct. So whenever I hear on a news channel that some area of the country is being terrorized by an uncaught serial killer the first thing I suggest to whoever will listen is that the police should round up all people who have listened to Helen Reddy music and question them at to their whereabouts during the crime spree. Proposing this theory as party conversation may be part of the reason why I don’t get invited to too many festivities.

Anyways, today is somewhat of a holiday for me – yet another reason for me to go to Hallmark and look for an appropriate card. Today is “turn the page of the calendar” day. It is an important day when you first get to flip the page on the new 2008 Diamondbacks wall calendar that you got to begin the year. Oh what a joyous occasion. You finally get to see what has been hidden away on the calendar for the month following January. It is also a time of new beginnings as you can put away the darkness of January and look forward to warmer and brighter days.

One of the most exciting things about “turn the page of the calendar” day is that we have now reached a month that contains something baseball. Readers of this blog may be slightly confused by that statement since if you happened to be a regular reader you would know that in my warped sense of reality every day contains something baseball related. That’s true, there is probably not a day that goes by that the subject of baseball does not come up during a conversation. My wife Trina goes to great lengths to remind me that I am not normal and therefore cannot be used as an example of what average people say or do on a daily basis. I am not exactly sure what that means and quite frankly I am not sure I want to go down that conversation path with her. Something about inviting your wife to explain why you are not normal just seems like an invitation for disaster.

Today though is a special day. It is now February 1 and in particular it marks exactly two weeks until pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training. The house is a buzz with anticipation and it all everyone is talking about. Ok that might be a slight exaggeration. It is an exciting time at our house and there is a lot of conversation about pitchers and catchers reporting to Spring Training but looking around I see that I am the only one actually talking about it. I also seem to be about the only one listening too which is not exactly a foreign experience around our household. But today I am content in the knowledge that the light I can see in the distance is probably the end of a very long, dark tunnel and not another train approaching on the same tracks. There has to be a card for that at Hallmark doesn’t there?


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