Leap of Faith

Time is a logical progression of single slices of consciousness. One instance builds upon the previous slice and bridges itself to the next. It is a way for the human mind to try and place order upon its surroundings by evaluating instances and developing a pattern of how things occur and then try to put meaning to them. The problem is that the human mind also likes to put things in nice little containers where everything fits neatly together. The universe on the other hand has other ideas. It is a constant ebbing and flowing of matter through space meaning that there are no constants that can act as boundaries around the definition of time. As a result man tries to describe a changing environment with a static measurement. So while we attempt to define the measurement of time within our neat little boxes of calendar days there always seems to be a little left over. The result of this rounding error is that before long the remainders begin to add up to a significant value. Presently that number reaches significance every four years. So to compensate for this dilemma we add a day to the year to get everything back on track at least for another four years. I always wondered why they picked February to tack on that extra day. I suppose it is because February is already suffering from a inferiority complex being the runt of the calendar with only 28 days. This gives February the opportunity to at least think he’s growing and will someday be able to play with the big months. We all know that will never happen but it at least makes February feel better and it’s important that all the months have good self-esteem.

From a perspective of the calendar consumer; the timing of this extra day sucks. Who wants to do anything in February? It’s bad enough that we have to deal with a holiday whose icon is a heavily armed baby with wings wearing a diaper but now we have to deal with a rogue calendar day that just shows up like your out of work cousin at Christmas time. On paper cousin Billy looks harmless enough but when you meet him in person and experience the abnormalities of cousin Billy you can’t wait to get rid of him for an extended period of time. I personally think things would be much better if we take the day out of February and move it to a more useful month. Take June for example. June is warm, June is sunny, June is filled with flowers, weddings, and all kinds of good things. June would be a perfect place for a free day. I mean that’s what leap day is isn’t it? It’s a free day, a gift from a mathematical rounding error. It’s like those stories we have all heard where some guy working for a bank takes all the rounding errors from financial transactions and deposits them in his bank account and suddenly realizes he just got a million dollars. That’s what I’m talking about. We need to get this leap day to a level where we celebrate all the rounding errors of the world. Moving it to June makes it part of the summer of fun. Baseball season is in full swing, the kids are out of school, and everything is looking sunny and good. You put leap day there and it immediately screams out “party time”. And since we are dealing with rounding errors let’s put a positive spin on it. On leap day everything good gets rounded up and everything bad gets rounded down. Batting averages get a boost as all players get the benefit of the rounding of all those at-bats and hits. Pitchers on the other hand get a break and all the numbers are rounded down on their earned run averages. Average attendance at the ballgames gets rounded up and the price of beer gets rounded down. This immediately makes Leap Day the most popular day of the year or in this case four years. Before you start worrying that someone will have to pay for this let me explain. We’re already paying for it every day as things get rounded against us. For one day we get the upper hand and things go our way. The universe ceases to conspire against us and we are free to appreciate what we have or what we should have gotten if the man had not ripped us off with his rounding errors. But instead we get a cold day in February with limited baseball and even those games that are being played don’t count in the standings so it really doesn’t matter how they round off the winning percentages for your favorite team. This is completely messed up.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *