Opening Day: A National Holiday

So how exactly does a diehard fan spend the baseball equivalent of Christmas morning?

12:00 AM – It is officially Opening Day. I am pacing the floor watching the clock. It is only 11 hours and 10 minutes until first pitch is scheduled to be thrown at Great American Ballpark in Cincinnati Ohio.

12:20 AM – Check US Airways to see if there are any flights from Phoenix Arizona to Cincinnati Ohio that would arrive before first pitch is thrown.

12:40 AM – Go upstairs and wake Trina up to verify that she was serious when she said I could not go to Opening Day in Cincinnati Ohio.

12:55 AM – Go downstairs with my pillow and a Diamondbacks blanket after being banished from the bedroom for waking Trina up to ask her again if I could go to Opening Day in Cincinnati Ohio.

1:30 AM – Go to Expedia.com to see if there are any last minute deals on airfare and lodging in Cincinnati Ohio

1:55 AM – Briefly considered going upstairs to tell Trina I might have found a good deal on airfare to Ohio but then decided that might be bad since I am not sure where I would be banished after the couch.


2:10 AM – Pulled up Tivo to set the record schedule to make sure that it recorded the Diamondbacks game from Cincinnati.

2:15 AM – Checked Fox Sports Arizona to make sure that the picture was coming in clear and formatted correctly.

2:25 AM – Checked surround sound to make sure speakers were properly calibrated.

2:50 AM – Got yelled at by Trina for messing with the surround sound “in the middle of the night!”

3:00 AM – Found that Tivo still had the 2007 Divisional Play-offs saved so I watch game 1 from Chase Field to see if I am on television

5:30 AM – Realized I haven’t slept yet so I curl up on the couch and go to sleep.

7:30 AM – Wake up panicked that I might have slept through Opening Day

7:45 AM – Shower and get dressed in my Diamondbacks Opening Day jersey and hat

8:15 AM – Recheck Tivo to make sure that I set the record to come on at the right time to catch the game

8:30 AM – Eat breakfast consisting of a bowl of Wheaties without milk. It may be the breakfast of champions but I am lactose intolerant so I do the best I can. I take a spoon full of Wheaties then a swallow of orange juice then a spoon full of Wheaties.

8:45 AM – Briefly considered throwing up the breakfast of champions. I am too nervous to eat.

9:00 AM – Fill out Doctor’s Excuse to excuse me from work today because I have a severe case of Diamondbacks Fever and I am highly contagious today

9:15 AM – Check Fox Sports Arizona to make sure that something didn’t happen during the time I was asleep and we no longer get that channel.

10:00 AM – Tune television to Fox Sports Arizona to make sure record button worked to tape the pre-game show

11:00 AM – Anxiously await first pitch only to find out it has been delayed due to rain

11:59 AM – After a 59 minute rain delay first pitch is finally underway. The 2008 baseball season is now officially underway!

2:36 PM – Brandon Lyon nails down his first save of the season as Reds hitter Scott Hatteberg flies out to foul territory where Mark Reynolds caught the ball to record the final out. The Diamondbacks won the game 4-2 making their record 1-0. At this pace they will finish the season 162-0. Eric Byrnes, Chris Young and Jeff Salazar will end the season in the thick of the MVP voting after each of them hit 162 home runs for the season (assuming they continue on the same pace as they had this game).

3:00 PM – Attempted to pour Gatorade over Trina to celebrate the victory but was threatened with my life. In the end I just drank the Gatorade and threw the bottle away.

Wow I am not sure I can deal with 162 days like today. I feel like I have aged a whole season in just this one game.


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