Sometimes I Just Don’t Get It

Did you ever have one of those weeks when you wake up and it’s as though you are in another dimension? One where everything is opposite of what you have come to rely on as being normal? That’s kind of how I feel this week. It just seems like every time I turn around I am dealing with something that would be perfectly natural if we lived in Bizarro World. It started off with our annual Fantasy Baseball draft. This year I decided I was way too busy to devote as much time to Fantasy Baseball as I normally do. I promised myself I would cut back and only play in half as many leagues as I normally do. Therefore I limited myself to four leagues. Trina and I have learned to agree to disagree on a few things in our marriage. I don’t attempt to understand her family and she doesn’t attempt to understand my obsession with Fantasy Baseball. She does ask that I try to minimize the number of players I select from National League West teams other than the Diamondbacks as she just hates to deal with the moral dilemma I place myself in whenever one of my fantasy players are playing against the Diamondbacks. I can’t deal with the fact that I am actually cheering against the Diamondbacks even if it is just for one batter. That subject is probably best left to discussing with a mental health professional.


Last week I spent agonizing over countless references trying to determine my Fantasy Baseball draft strategy. As is typically the case I drafted pitching high followed by hitting ranking players high that could dominate a category. I felt I was prepared given that I had ranked 518 Major League Baseball players. As the draft started I was naturally nervous not knowing how the draft would play out. So when the dust settled I went to check out my roster. This is always a nerve wracking experience for me. These are the players you will become very accustomed to over the course of a season and you just don’t know how the automated draft has played out. Imagine my surprise to find out that I had the fourth pick in the draft order and yet I was still able to draft Alex Rodrizuez, Brandon Webb, Jake Peavy, Rich Harden, Bobby Jenks, Brad Lidge, and BJ Ryan. As if that were not a surprise enough I found that my fellow owners in the league were quite active in the waiver wire and had dropped Adrian Gonzalez, Justin Upton, and Aaron Rowand. I could not believe my eyes nor my luck when no one bothered to put a waiver request in when these players were dropped. It was like when you are walking along and find $100 on the ground. Part of you wants to snatch it up while your more sane part knows someone is going to come along looking for that money. I went ahead and picked up the players and put a notice up stating what I found if the rightful owner can claim them then they will be returned. So far that hasn’t happened and Upton just hit his third home run in three games vaulting me into the lead of the weekly head-to-head matchup for my team.

The funny thing was that wasn’t the strangest thing that happened this week. Last night an auction was held at a local church to raise money to send young women to girls camp this summer. We had been asked if we could donate anything that could be included in this silent auction. I’m always willing to assist where I can and so I reached into my basket of baseball swag and found an Orlando Hudson bobble head from last year and an autographed baseball by Diamondbacks pitcher Doug Davis. I figured these two items would bring in enough money to send several girls to camp. The items were donated and last night we attended the event. I arrived quite late to the auction but as I entered the building I checked on the bids to see where the items were sitting. My mouth nearly hit the floor when I found that the autographed baseball had a current winning bid of $5 while the bobble head was sitting at $16. That in itself would have been shocking enough but as I wandered around the room I found that a bag of homemade candy was selling for $70. Did I just walk into a different dimension? How in the world could you explain that someone valued a bag of candy 14 times greater than an autographed baseball by one of the classiest guys on the Arizona Diamondbacks. I had half a mind to buy the ball back just to keep it away from these people. The bidding continued and the ball did gather momentum but never could overtake the bag of candy which too continued to climb in perceived value. In the end the Doug Davis baseball sold for less than a container of homemade salsa and a bag of candy. I swear I have no idea what is going on. The only semblance of reality was that the Diamondbacks continued to dominate the Colorado Rockies for the second game in a row.


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