Did I Miss the Parade?

While I was in Los Angeles at the Diamondbacks vs. Dodgers series my family was at home. Before anyone thinks I am a heel for not taking my family with me to Los Angeles let me assure you that me being gone for 2 days is a vacation for them so it all works out best. I’m one of those guys that you need to dilute a little. Me at full strength is definitely not for the faint of heart. While I was there I did call and check in with the family. When I went to Downtown Disney for lunch the first day I called and texted them letting them know where I was. Ok that was probably not a cool thing to do but I did get them something and it wasn’t even from the team shop so that should account for something. After the game on Friday I went back to the hotel. I called Trina partly to vent about how poorly Dan Haren pitched and partly just to let her know I was thinking about her. (See I can be sentimental. Just because I had to put a reminder on my phone to do that should not be held against me.)


As I was talking to her lamenting about how bad this game was for the Diamondbacks Trina interrupted me, “oh I forgot to tell you that the Diamondbacks called today.” The phone on my end went completely silent. Why didn’t she say that in the first place? I mean anything I had to say could have waited until after she told me why the team had called me.

“What did they say?” I eagerly asked.

“I didn’t answer it; I figured it wasn’t for me anyway.” Trina answered. “What is that banging sound?”

“Sorry, that was my head smacking the wall over and over.” I said. “Did they leave a message?”

“No”, she said. “And I can hear you banging your head again so just stop it, they called back and I answered it this time.”

I was now sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for my wife to tell me exactly what the team had to say. It seems they were not calling for me at all. With that news my shoulders dropped. But if they didn’t want me, who were they calling for? The call was actually for my son Dakota. What is up with that? How come he gets a call from the Diamondbacks? I’m the season ticket holder. I’m the one with the blog. I’m the one who has Chase Field seats in the living room. Before I could continue; Trina cut me off. She didn’t need to be reminded of her troubles. She continued; they were calling to invite Dakota down onto the field for an on-field recognition for his attendance at this year’s games. He has gone to 40 games so far this year which is a lot for an eleven year-old boy.

This is kind of messed up. I have gone to 72 games this year and yet they call my son. Rather than dwell on how unfair this is and how I am going to have to deal with my son’s happy dance when he finds out he is going down on the field. Trina went on to explain that she had the gentleman on the phone who was very excited about this news. Trina listened to the man and then asked if Dakota would be interested in this opportunity. Trina thought he said that the parade was this Sunday. She explained that she was not sure that we would be able to make it since I was in Los Angeles at the Diamondbacks game and I am the one that always takes Dakota to the games.

It was at this point that I interrupted her. “The Diamondbacks are not in town this week” I stated.

“I know, they are in Los Angeles” Trina replied

“Then how can there be an on-field parade if the team is out of town?” I asked.

“Well the parade is Sunday, I thought they would be back on Sunday” she said. With her reply the head banging began once again.

“Trina, they never begin a new series on Sunday. The Diamondbacks finish in LA on Sunday then go to San Francisco.” I replied.

“Oh, no wonder the man seemed confused” she said. “And please stop banging your head it is distracting.”

She then went back to her story. Dakota had been invited to go down onto the field and she told the man that I was out of town. Then she went on to say, “Oh what am I thinking of course he will be there. My husband goes to all the games so I am sure he has thought of this and will be back in town in time to take Dakota.” The Diamondbacks representative listened quietly as Trina went on to tell him that I was kind of a devoted fan that had an obsession with the Diamondbacks. When she finished explaining my “condition” he replied, “Your husband is Jeff right?” I had the exact same reaction that Trina did, I was dumbfounded that they would know that. The representative went on to say that they were well away of who I was and that he was excited to be the one to call about Dakota being selected. He went on to say how he loved reading my stuff and wanted to talk to me.

That’s pretty funny in a weird sort of way. I had to wonder if the Diamondbacks have like an FBI file on me or something. Not that I am dangerous or anything; just probably not the most normal fan that they have. Trina concluded the call by saying that yes I was Dakota’s father and she assured the gentleman that Dakota would be at the game to be on the field. My only question is, I wonder if anyone would notice if I told them that I was Dakota and took his place? I mean that’s only fair right? I’ve been to almost twice as many games as he has. My only hope is that there isn’t a photo in that FBI file the Diamondbacks have.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *