“I feel almost ashamed to admit this but I have not bought a piece of Diamondbacks merchandise all year.” When I spoke these words I fully expected them to be met with a large wave of sympathy and at least a couple of hugs from my family. I mean if anyone would understand the pain I was feeling it should be my family right? Instead of being empathetic they decided this was the perfect time to kick me when I was the lowest I had been all year. “Dad, this year is only 5 days old” and “I was not aware there was a piece of Diamondbacks merchandise you didn’t already own” were the comments that were made. That’s pretty messed up if you ask me. But I am not one to wallow in self pity. Instead I did what any Diamondbacks fan would do.
I put on my Diamondbacks sweatshirt over my Diamondbacks polo shirt, slipped on my Diamondbacks jacket checked my Diamondbacks watch, grabbed my Diamondbacks key ring, checked my Diamondbacks wallet, and headed for the mall. Notice I said mall and not team shop. Unfortunately the team shop was closed so I had to improvise. I can’t believe my family thinks I have too much stuff with a Diamondbacks logo on it. As any diehard fan can tell you, there is no such thing as having too much stuff with a Diamondbacks logo on it.
I spent the next two hours going from store to store looking for some new Diamondbacks merchandise that I didn’t have. I am a little embarrassed to admit that it took me two hours. I honestly figured it would be a 15 minute trip but the team merchandise I found I already had. I was beginning to think that maybe there was some validity to what my family said. That all changed though when I got to the Hat Club. Leave it to them to prove that I didn’t yet own every piece of Diamondbacks gear. In fact I found at least 8 D-Backs hats that I didn’t own. Don’t tell me I have everything. I felt a little like Charlie when he entered Willie Wonka’s chocolate factory. Just as I was about to burst into a verse of “The Candy Man” I was snapped out of my daydream by a high school kid asking if he could help me. I introduced myself and said I was looking for a new D-Backs hat. Me and my new best friend spent the next 20 minutes going through each hat trying to find the perfect one to start 2009. In the end I walked out of the store wearing a new all black hat with a black snake logo and Sedona Red eyes. It looked very menacing and was a perfect fit.
I wondered as I walked back to the car if the family would buy the argument that I haven’t gotten a new Diamondbacks jersey all year? It’s worth a shot isn’t it?