The Perfect Date Night

Almost as soon as the final pitch was thrown against the Colorado Rockies on September 28 I began working on the redesign and upgrade of my NowHitting web site. Given the total number of pages I had to modify, it was a very time consuming task. As a result I have been described as a little less than involved in family life around our house. This is the message that my wife tends to deliver to me on nearly a daily basis. She tends to point out my fatherly and husbandly shortcomings with an inordinate amount of detail. Now with Opening Day a mere 2 days 22 hours and 24 minutes away, I am again getting the lecture about my seeming lack of proper priorities. This is the part I don’t quite understand. How can she say my priorities are messed up? Didn’t I just give her a new Sedona Red polo shirt with a nice Diamondbacks logo so that she had something nice to wear to work? As it was explained to me, being a good husband means more than just buying your wife something nice from the Team Shop. It means spending quality time together. It was therefore suggested that before the madness of baseball season descends upon us perhaps it would a good idea for us to have a “date night”.

The last time it was suggested that we have a “date night” I ended up getting drug to a craft show followed by dinner consisting of food arranged on the plated as a piece of art and concluding with a movie where the characters attempted to connect on an emotional level. Geez, you may as well strapped me to a chair and forced me to wear an “I heart Derek Jeter” jersey while watching reruns of the Boston Red Sox winning the World Series. I’m pretty sure that there was a clause in the Geneva convention banning such cruel and unusual punishment towards prisoners.

No if I was going to have to endure yet another “date night” then I wanted to make sure that I was in charge of the planning. Besides, as a husband you seem to get bonus points if you actually take the initiative on these things. So this morning before she left for work I gave her a hug and looked into her beautiful warning track colored eyes and proclaimed, “I thought maybe we could go out on a date tonight.”

The look on her face was equal parts excitement and fear. The closest thing I can compare this look to was when I found out Manny Ramirez was being traded last season. On the one hand I was glad he was no longer a Red Sox but on the other hand the last thing I wanted was to see those dreadlocks in Dodger Blue. So as my wife left out the door I began to make plans. The first thing I did was to make sure the kids would be taken care of. Nothing will destroy a date faster than trying to explain to your wife that you forgot all about the kids and that you are sure that they are perfectly fine locked in the house for the night. This is the frustrating part about being the husband; you don’t get credit for anything. After all I did remember to lock the kids in the house as opposed to locking them out of the house.

Once I had the children situation taken care of I was free to begin planning the perfect date. I thought we would start out by stopping by the fabric store since I know she loves that stuff. I needed some Sedona Red Cordura anyway so this would allow me to only have to make one stop to this anti-testosterone Mecca. After a short visit at the craft store we’ll take a short 18 mile drive to downtown Phoenix to a nice little romantic spot that I know. There we’ll have dinner and catch a show before coming home for hopefully some quiet time. On paper this sounds perfect. What woman would not want an evening like that? Now all I have to do is figure out which concession stand at Chase Field we’ll have dinner at tonight and whether I should splurge and get her something from the Team Shop as long as we are at the game. What could possibly go wrong? By the end of the night she is going to think she has married the perfect man. Who knows, if it goes well, I might take her to the game tomorrow afternoon too.

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