Why Not Sedona Red Friday?

I look at the day after Thanksgiving with equal parts of dread and fear. For some strange reason I somehow found myself agreeing to accompany my wife on a shopping trip for Christmas gifts.

This is so unlike me. Normally I am able to somehow sidestep this entire tradition and stay nestled in bed dreaming of baseball seasons that never end. Instead the alarm goes off at 3:00 AM and I roll out of bed onto the cold floor questioning my sanity.

Given the amount of grief that I typically give to my wife it only seems appropriate that I should have to suck it up and go shopping with her one day a year. Besides she said the two things that every man wants to hear, gifts and saving money.

It seems that my wife and I have a completely different understanding when it comes to gift giving. When she said we were going Christmas shopping I just naturally assumed that she meant we were going to Chase Field.

I mean really where else but the Diamondbacks team shop would you go if you wanted to buy a present for someone you loved? Looking over my Christmas shopping list I figured we had to make one stop and we were done.

For my son I was planning on a new Diamondbacks home jersey. For my youngest daughter a nice Diamondbacks calculator or pen and pencil set. For my middle daughter a “Chicks Dig the Long Ball” shirt. My other daughter would get a new Los D-Backs shirt. And for my wife I thought I would pick up a cute hat and sweatshirt.

And while the Team Shop didn’t seem to have any Black Friday sales going on I did have my Season Ticket Holder card that entitled me to a 15 percent discount. It was the perfect plan at least I thought so.

Instead my wife unveiled a shopping list that looked more like the transaction log for the Arizona Diamondbacks. It stretched for miles and none of the entries were good news.

By the fourth or fifth store I was wishing someone would put me on the 60-day disabled list. It was like Mark Reynolds strikeout total – brutal and never-ending. What made it even worse was that we didn’t even go to the store I wanted making today a total bust; kind of like the Diamondbacks 2009 season.


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