Father of the Bride

Our second daughter is engaged to be married to a great guy. Marrying into this family is not something that most sane men would consider; just ask my oldest daughter’s husband. There are still stories that are told around the dinner table about how dad ruined the wedding.

Honestly I am not sure how I got blamed and really I doubt the wedding was “ruined”. I am pretty sure that I am not the only father ever to replace the daddy-daughter dance music with Harry Carey singing Take Me Out to the Ballgame.

And I know for a fact that there are fathers everywhere that want luck and good fortune for their children when they are married. It just so happens that I chose to exhibit that wish in the form of a neon orange Arizona Diamondbacks hat that I put on the bride’s head.

Before anyone gasps too loudly it should be noted that the Diamondbacks had been on a losing streak and were playing in Houston that day losing in the ninth inning with the Astros bringing in Billy Wagner to save the game. After my daughter put the lucky hat on the Diamondbacks came back and won the game as well as the next 12 games for the longest winning streak in franchise history.

That is some serious mojo. If I were her I would wear that hat every day of my marriage. Sorry, I digressed. We now find ourselves in the midst of wedding planning for the second daughter.

I have a very simple rule when it comes to getting married, they are free to select any day they want as long as it is either during the off-season or at worst during a Diamondbacks road trip. I don’t think that is a lot to ask. I mean they do want their dad at the wedding don’t they?

When my daughter and her fiancé were trying to decide on a date I made some frantic inquiries to see if I could get a 2010 schedule. They had settled on April and given last season’s scheduling nightmare I was worried the Diamondbacks would have another year with 20 home games in the first month.

After some negotiation I was able to talk them into a date when the team was out of town on a road trip. This still was not the optimum choice since I would be distracted checking the out of town scoreboard but it was better than missing the wedding I guess.

We are now searching for wedding locations and decorations. I am lobbying hard for her colors to be Sedona Red and Sonoran Sand but I am not making any headway in that department. She has at least compromised and will use purple as one of her colors. Luckily I still have some old Diamondbacks jerseys and a pair of Diamondbacks socks I can wear to support the team.

The venue decision has been narrowed down to a couple of places. After looking at the prices my mouth fell to the floor. Some of these places are more expensive than Arizona Diamondbacks Season Tickets and you only get to spend one night. This is completely messed up.

Suddenly I wondered if having the wedding during a road trip was such a good idea. Maybe we would be better off having the wedding during a home stand and have the reception at Chase Field. For the prices she was coming up with I could rent the pool area in right-center field and a suite on the Diamond Level.

After a call to Derrick Hall of the Diamondbacks I was confident I could even get my daughter and her new husband on Kiss-Cam. And if we played our cards right there may just be a stadium giveaway that night so everyone attending the reception could go home with a gift; well at least the first 25,000 in attendance.

I might even be able to get Baxter the Bobcat to be the Best Man and shoot the bridal bouquet out of the T-Shirt cannon. The more I thought about it, the better it sounded. My son Dakota was completely on-board with this and suggested perhaps we could even get the team to let me throw out the first bride, I mean the first pitch.

This was perfect. I laid the plans out to Trina and my daughter and I could tell they were impressed, they both sat there with open mouths and stared at me without blinking. After several moments of silence my daughter turned to Trina and said, “Mom, you have to promise me that dad is not going to be involved in any of my wedding plans.”

That is completely messed up. I walked off depressed. Just for that I am not going to let her use my Arizona Diamondbacks Inaugural Season Opening Day hat as the “something old”. I may not even bring the Lucky Hat. Oh what am I saying? The Lucky Hat will definitely be there.

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