I was feeling pretty good about Valentine’s Day. Normally this holiday is like a minefield for me. It seems like no matter what I do I never can seem to find the perfect gift that will make my wife happy.
It’s not for lack of trying. I really try hard to find something that I think my wife will like. You would think after being married 28 years I would have picked up a few clues but I seem to strike out more often than Mark Reynolds.
Like Reynolds, I refuse to change my approach and my wife has learned to accept the strikeouts instead focusing on the other aspects of my game that I bring to the plate. Wow, that analogy really worked well.
This year was going to be different. With the Diamondbacks FanFest being held yesterday I found what I thought was the perfect gift. In the Diamondbacks Foundation Yard Sale I ran across a game used batting helmet.
This was perfect, it would go great in our family room right next to the Diamondbacks base, the piece of Bank One Ballpark, and the lucky hat. As I paid for the batting helmet I was feeling pretty good.
My daughters attempted to warn me that my “perfect gift” was not going to go over well with mom. Oh these kids, how could they doubt me? I mean I have been doing Valentine’s Day since before they were born.
Still, a small voice in my head suggested that I should probably listen to the kids and have a back-up plan. I somehow remembered Trina saying something about how she would love to have flour for Valentine’s Day or something like that.
Somehow a five pound bag of flour didn’t seem any more romantic than a game used batting helmet. Besides, it was left-handed, how many times are you going to run across a left-handed batting helmet let alone game used?
When Trina got up, I had strategically set the batting helmet on the kitchen table along with a post-it note that said “Happy Valentine’s Day”. In all my excitement getting the batting helmet, I forgot to get a card. The post-it note was pink so technically it was holiday themed.
From the looks of Trina’s face I could tell she was really surprised. It was hard to tell whether the contorted look she was giving me was joy or frustration. Not wanting to take any chances I decided I better go to the store and go with “Plan B”.
While I was gone I received a text that simply stated, “I said flowers not flour”. I put the bag back onto the shelf of the baking aisle and made a beeline to the floral section.
I stood there with what looked like half the male population waiting in line for “flowers”. I was talking to the guy next to me telling him this was the second gift I had purchased. After telling him about the really cool batting helmet he looked at me and said, “You can go in front of me, you need these more than I do.” I have no idea what he meant.
When I got to the front I told the lady I needed a dozen Sedona Red roses. We spent the next 10 minutes comparing the color of flowers to my Diamondbacks hat. When I explained to the lady about my first gift she suggested I should probably pick up a box of candy too.
In the end my wife got a dozen Sedona Red roses, a large box of candy, and a gift card to her favorite craft store. Oh, she also got a really cool game used left-handed batting helmet that she keeps failing to mention.