The next phase of managing my health begins today. I find myself in some sort of baseball equivalent of a medical emergency. This is not a new disease, it tends to flair up every year.
The illness usually manifests itself in February when I find myself exhibiting a shorter and shorter attention span towards work and family. This usually occurs right around the time that pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training.
My condition continues to worsen throughout March and by the first part of April I can barely focus on anything that does not contain 108 stitches. Let me rephrase that, I can’t focus on anything non-baseball.
I figure I better clarify that especially if my wife is reading. The last thing I need is her thinking my illness could be cured by her beating me about the head causing injuries requiring 108 stitches.
This pre-occupation with baseball typically lasts through the end of September or the end of October if I’m really lucky. In cases such as this year when the Diamondbacks are eliminated from playoff contention my condition gets better earlier.
Well better is a relative term. My baseball illness clears up slightly but it is replaced with significant off-season depression. The cure for that normally requires traveling to small Central American or Caribbean countries during the winter months, something my wife tends to frown upon.
I’ve tried explaining to her that winter baseball is therapeutic but so far she’s not buying that and I’ve yet to find a doctor who will write me a prescription for a trip to the Caribbean World Series. Hopefully this oversight will be rectified by the new health care bill that was passed.
Rather than waiting to see if the medical profession will finally take my illness seriously I decided to instead to research forms of alternative medicine.
At first I tried an extreme treatment program where football was substituted for baseball. That was a complete disaster. The season lasts just 16 games and the players can’t even play offense and defense. This treatment program was the equivalent to using leeches to cure polio.
I also tried reducing the dosage of baseball but that just made things worse. Clearly what I needed was more baseball not less. Once the season ends though it is hard to find supplements.
I tried whiffle ball and even T-ball but that was kind of like taking a baby aspirin when your arm has been amputated. It takes the edge off but you’re still bleeding on the carpet.
What I needed was a supplement that was a little stronger. I may have just found a solution. Beginning today the Arizona Fall League begins play.
For e next six weeks there will be games played around the valley featuring up and coming minor league stars who are at e cusp of reaching the major leagues.
This sounds perfect. I can see a high quality of baseball and if I play my cards right I can even get in several games in a week.
This isn’t a long term solution. The AFL ends just before Thanksgiving but it may give me enough time where I can finally find a doctor who can convince my insurance company and my wife how important a trip to the Dominican Republic is for my overall health.