What a Nightmare!

In some Native American cultures you will see an artifact called a dream catcher. The dream catcher is traditionally a hoop made of willow that is woven with sinew strands that look similar to a spider web. The hoop is then decorated with sacred items such as feathers and beads. The resulting dream catcher is then hung above the bed as a charm to protect the sleeping children. The belief was that bad dreams are caught within the webbing while good dreams filter through and slide down the feathers to the sleeper. Dream catchers are both a beautiful and somewhat eerie sight that is seen quite often in the southwest. They are beautiful to look at but I always viewed them as a piece of art rather than a lucky charm. After the previous few nights I’ve had I’m beginning to think perhaps I need to befriend a dream catcher artist.

Extended road trips especially ones when your favorite team goes 2-5 followed by an off-day almost completely destroys any thoughts of going to sleep having a good night’s rest filled with wonderful dreams.

When your team is in first place or surging each night seems like Christmas Eve where your head is filled with thoughts of play-off games and trips to the World Series. But when your team is struggling, your dreams tend to mirror the struggles you see on the field. It’s made even worse when your chief rival is playing unbelievably well and seems to do no wrong.

After the final game in the Boston Red Sox series where the Diamondbacks were shutout by a score of 4-0 I sat dazed then watched highlights where the Los Angeles Dodgers tripped and stumbled their way to a 14th straight road win stretching their lead over the Diamondbacks by another day.

Sleep and dreams were the last thing I was looking forward to. After pacing the floor and replaying not only the game but the road trip back through my mind I finally was exhausted enough to fall asleep and that’s when I wish I had a dream catcher.

Deep within the subconscious of my mind I fell into a dream I’ll never forget. I was walking the streets of New York aimlessly wondering where the baseball season had gone. Soon I looked up and I was in a completely unfamiliar place that was filled with shadows and darkness. Before long a car came down the street and I waved it down to ask for direction.

The car window rolled down and sitting behind the wheel was Alice Cooper in full on-stage make-up. In real life that would probably freak me out but in my dream it seemed completely logical. You would expect someone like Alice Cooper to be an understanding and compassionate motorist. Ok, you probably wouldn’t think that but it’s my dream so somehow in my mind Alice Cooper was the equivalent to hailing down Ward Cleaver and asking for assistance.

But instead of assistance, Alice Cooper forced me into the back of his Mini-Cooper which according to my dreams has a very spacious back seat with lots of leg room and surprisingly good acoustics.

Before long we were traveling around the streets of New York in a Mini-Cooper. One thing I should note is that New York traffic is much less crowded in dreamland than it is in real life and the citizens are much happier. That might be because Alice Cooper is cruising around singing to the radio driving a Mini-Cooper.

Soon we came to the Guggenheim Museum where Alice Cooper drove through the doors and up the spacious ramps. That part was actually pretty cool and I made a note to myself to propose drive-through art galleries at the next city council meeting.

Before long the car stopped and I tried to make my escape. I was running around the museum admiring the artwork and trying to lose Alice Cooper who was hot on my trail chasing me with a banana. For whatever reason Alice Cooper was wielding this banana like a ninja dagger.

I was cornered and the end looked hopeless. Then just before a rock star snuffed out my life with a lethal banana driving a Mini-Cooper I woke up. My heart was racing. I laid there in the darkness trying to calm down and understand what this dream may mean.

I’m not a professional dream psychologist but I have an idea of what it might mean. The Guggenheim museum represents the great and powerful corporation behind the Los Angeles Dodgers. The Mini-Cooper is the small market teams who can maneuver around the mighty space but feel insignificant due to the dichotomy of the economics of baseball. Alice Cooper represents the original Diamondbacks ownership who have been pushed to the back of our minds with all the changes that have occurred. And the banana is a reminder to never get fooled by the old banana in the tailpipe routine.

But then again this dream may be because I ate pizza and Lucky Charms and a glass of A&W Root Beer before going to bed.

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