Super Bowl Media Day

Let me start out by saying that I am not a football fan. I’ve never been a football fan. I likely never will be a football fan. It’s hard to take a sport seriously where the season only lasts sixteen games over 17-weeks meaning that every team needs a week vacation sometime during the season. Plus it takes 53 people to make up a team and no one plays both offense and defense. It’s like an entire sport made up of designated hitters and you know how I feel about the DH rule.

Marshawn LynchFor the most part I view football as that thing that keeps you from going completely stir crazy waiting for Spring Training to begin. This year is even worse since the Super Bowl will be played in Glendale Arizona at University of Phoenix Stadium, the home of the Arizona Cardinals. So for two weeks the city will be crawling with football-crazed fans many of whom will have their faces painted to hide the overly pale skin that comes from being a fan of a sport that is played in the dead of winter.

The first week of Super Bowl festivities are relatively calm. There are parties everywhere and buildings are transformed into giant billboards but for the most part you can find some sort of normality. Beginning yesterday that all changed. The Seattle Seahawks arrived in Phoenix followed shortly by the New England Patriots. Downtown Phoenix was turned completely upside down with Super Bowl Media Day, which was held at US Airways Center, home of the Phoenix Suns basketball team.

Super Bowl Media Day is unlike anything else you have ever experienced. Players and coaches are led into an area and seated at tables much like prize animals at the state fair. Then for the next half hour they are peppered with some of the most inane questions anyone can think of and that’s the most normal part of the process.

While most of the major media outlets treat this as journalism you will always find some in the crowd of reporters that you wonder how they ever got credentials. Wandering the floor of US Airways center was former Diamondbacks and current Chicago White Sox outfielder Adam Eaton who was covering the event for an NBC affiliate. Behind him was some guy dressed in a green super hero outfit and mask. I didn’t dare even ask who he was with.

But it wasn’t just the reporting throng that was weird. Seattle Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch who hates reporters and talking to the press arrived and was suddenly the center of attention. He made it clear why he was there and for his allotted 4 ½ minutes he answered every question with the exact same answer. So in honor of Mr. Lynch, I thought I would file my report of Super Bowl Media Day for Super Bowl XLIX.

I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined.

I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined.

I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined.

I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined.

I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined.

I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined.

I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined.

I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined. I’m just here so I don’t get fined.

So in conclusion, “I’m just here so I don’t get fined.” And people say baseball is filled with odd characters.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *