January 27, 2008
I am definitely not a slave to fashion. Trina refers to my tastes in clothing as “Team Shop Chic”. I once asked her what that meant and her response was that basically my clothing choices came down to whatever was new at the team shop at a given home stand. I once tried to argue that wasn’t the case but I was quickly confronted by 10 Diamondbacks T-Shirts, 4 personalized Diamondbacks jerseys, and 15 Diamondbacks hats. I tried to justify that by stating that I had to get new clothes because the team changed their colors. That statement led to a fairly large box in the garage that contained a treasure chest of Diamondbacks Classic apparel of purple and teal. About the only portion of my wardrobe that is not dictated by the team shop merchandise is my dress clothes. At least that is what we thought until recently.
Continue reading ‘Tie One On’ »
January 26, 2008
One of my worst nightmares came a couple of weeks ago when I went into my beloved Chase Field and found that the green well manicured outfield and perfectly groomed base paths had been replaced by large berms of dirt piled up by front loaders that were parked in the Diamondbacks bullpen. You may as well painted a graffiti moustache on the Statue of Liberty to look like my aunt Ethel before the waxing. This was one of those sights that leaves you speechless and in serious need of psychotherapy sessions by professions. I’m talking about the dirt berms on Chase Field not the thoughts of Aunt Ethel’s moustache or waxing techniques although either one of those will wake you from a dead sleep screaming in fear. I seriously thought there was nothing more frightening that what I had seen that night but I now stand corrected.
Continue reading ‘Monsters in the Outfield’ »
January 25, 2008
They say that everyone has a price it is just a matter of finding out what that price is. For the longest time I took the ethical high road told myself that the quote was a fallacy. It was possible to maintain your value system and not deviate from it no matter what the consequences. Sure there have been times when I have thought that I may be willing to sacrifice my beliefs for the right price but then after moments of contemplation I would evaluate myself and realize that the level of guilt that I would feel as a result of selling out was too much of a price to pay. After all there is nothing in my life that I want enough to justify trading in my values and my conscious for it. And then in just one 24-hour period I did the unthinkable, I sold out and all in the name of Arizona Diamondbacks fantasy camp.
Continue reading ‘How Far Would You Go?’ »
January 24, 2008
The Arizona Diamondbacks will begin their 2008 campaign when pitchers and catchers report to the Kino Sports Complex in Tucson on February 15. This is one day later than many teams who begin their Spring Training on Valentine’s Day. It just seems so appropriate to spend a day dedicated to love on the baseball field. Besides, with the Diamondbacks now sporting Sedona Red as their primary color they would fit right in with all the lacy hearts and archery toting winged midgets. The team missed out on a golden opportunity there but I guess it won’t kill me if they start a day later. Well maybe the wait will kill me; February 15 is still three weeks and one day away. The first organized workout for pitchers and catchers will occur a day later on February 16. So technically I am going to have to wait two days before actual baseball starts for the Diamondbacks. The odds of the wait killing me just went up 33 percent. Position players are scheduled to report on February 20 with the first full team workout scheduled for the morning of February 21. That is six days after pitchers and catchers report so technically baseball doesn’t really begin for the team until February 21 increasing my death by waiting quotient by another level. I am not sure the team understands the gravity that this delay may cause. But rather than stress about future events I decided to focus my anxiety on the here and now.
Continue reading ‘What About Me?’ »
January 23, 2008
After keeping Trina awake for the past eight to ten nights with my constant coughing and hacking she finally just could not stand it any longer. When I got up she announced that she had made a doctor’s appointment. I immediately began to protest between fits of coughing which did nothing to lead credibility to my case that I didn’t need a doctor. Trina of course decided to take this opportunity to twist the knife in my back just a little more when she said, “this is why you didn’t get to go to Fantasy Camp, I knew you would be sick.” That is just about the meanest thing she has ever said to me. For a brief moment I thought about running up to her and coughing all over her letting my legion of germs do the voodoo they do so well. But I didn’t want to stoop to her level. Besides, if I stopped to think about it I probably did need to see a doctor since this cold just seems to be sticking with me. So I resigned myself to the fact that I was indeed sick. I hate admitting that, it just seems like such a defeatist attitude. And hey, not all doctors want to immediately schedule you for surgery right?
Continue reading ‘Juiced’ »
January 22, 2008
“How come I haven’t seen a blog entry on this story?” It’s funny how an email with a single line of text enclosed can ruin your day. I am pretty sure that when Andre sent me that email he knew full well that this story would make my blood pressure shoot up like Old Faithful. I count this as one of the signs of the impending apocalypse when someone like “the great Troy Tulowitzki” is rewarded with a six year extension after one year of Major League service. Perhaps the rarefied air in Colorado has finally resulted in casualties. It is obvious that general manager Dan O’Dowd has suffered some kind of brain oxygen starvation to hand this kind of money to someone like “the great Troy Tulowitzki” after only one season. To hear the Denver press talk about this guy you would think that Chicago Cubs shortstop Joe Tinker had been reincarnated. For those who may not know the name of Joe Tinker let me give you a little background. Joe Tinker played for the Cubs back when they were good. Not good like “hey what happened we made the play-offs”; no good like “hey we won the World Series and we like goats”.
Continue reading ‘A Sign of the Apocalypse’ »
January 21, 2008
In one of my more irreverent times I thought it might be interesting to take Martin Luther King’s famous “I have a dream” speeches and see if I could replace key words in the text to make it baseball specific. That entry “I have a dream” was one of the more popular entries I ever had on the blog. In a fit of laziness I briefly considered plagiarizing myself and just repeating that column. After all it is Monday and for many a holiday. Wouldn’t I much rather be hanging out with my family or playing with my motorcycle instead of writing another column? I then realized I could not possibly do that since I have no life outside of the Internet or baseball so while the kids are outside playing I sit at the computer penning yet another entry.
Continue reading ‘Civil Rights’ »
January 20, 2008
When Juan Cruz signed a one-year contract that left five Diamondbacks players left unsigned from the current roster. Friday January 18 was the deadline for teams and players to exchange arbitration figures and it appeared as though the Diamondbacks may actually be involved in an arbitration hearing. This is of course not something they wanted to do. Over the first ten years of this organization they have diligently tried to avoid arbitration. It’s a weird process that is a no win proposition for the team or the player. If the team wins an arbitration hearing the player somehow feels undervalued and if the player should win the hearing then it could have huge financial implications to the team. It is obviously much better to try and avoid that whole process if you can. So when the Diamondbacks issued a press release on Friday I fully expected it to say that the team had provided the five with salary proposals and would be awaiting the upcoming hearings. It was instead an announcement where the team had come to terms with all players on contracts.
Continue reading ‘With Five You Get Egg Roll’ »
January 19, 2008
It has been a restless 24 hours. Sleep was the farthest thing from my mind. How could anyone lie in bed and sleep when Diamondbacks Spring Training tickets go on sale in less than a day? Sometimes I just do not understand what makes people tick. So while the rest of the state of Arizona was curled up under their Arizona Diamondbacks blankets dreaming of Chase Field I was up pacing the floor checking the clock and testing its batteries to make sure that the time was correct. I must have called the number for time about every 30 seconds and I even bookmarked the web site for the atomic clock in Colorado. Sometime around 3 AM I made a note to myself to shop for a new clock as it was obvious that the one hanging on our wall did not have an atomic mechanism since time was drifting by a few seconds. I briefly considered calling the Diamondbacks ticket office at midnight and feign ignorance saying I thought 12:00 meant midnight not noon. That might have worked but I was pretty sure that no one would actually answer the phone at midnight probably because they knew some fan like me would try that stunt.
Continue reading ‘A Call to Arms’ »
